Massage and nudity
There are certain moral and ethical values which must always be observed during a massage. The client's level of comfort must be respected at all times, nor must a massage turn sexual in any way. A practitioner is obliged to full discretion and can never reveal any personal information about a client.
I have often been asked the question of nudity during a massage. How much is a client supposed to undress. I always tell them to undress as much as they are comfortable. It is essential that a client can fully relax while laying on the table and not worry about being naked or what a therapist might think about how they look like. For women I insist on the removal of the bra in order to massage the back properly. If they are uncomfortable when they turn, I drape them with a towel.
Different countries and massage types have various laws and regulations in regards to nudity on the massage table. For instance, in the USA it is mandatory to use draping and/or wear underwear during a massage, while in France there is no such law and it is common not to use draping and be completely naked on the table.
Various massage techniques also benefits from various levels of undressing. Thai massage, Shiatsu and others can easily be done while the client is fully dressed, as long as their clothes do not obstruct or hinder movements, or sit too tightly. Massage Créatif, Californian massage and other full body treatments greatly benefits from full nudity since the clothing obstructs the long smooth movements and breaks the massage rhythm. Deep tissue massage, Swedish massage and other massage form which work on particular zones only requires that the area being worked is nude.
Many therapists leave the buttocks covered during a massage, which is in reality a great shame. There are five large muscles in the buttocks which serve to connect the back with the legs. By ignoring these muscles, the back and thighs can't be completely treated as tensions are not only is found in one area, but also in the neighbouring ones. For example, to treat a lower back pain, the muscles at the buttocks will also need treatment since they are connected to the back muscles.
Bottom line is that the client must always feel comfortable and relaxed with the level of nudity, and the therapist must always respect this. A person who is very conscious about themselves and being naked can't relax fully, nor let go and receive the treatment to the maximum effect.
The body can react to the intimacy of a massage without there being anything sexual in it. Therapists are taught that this is a natural reaction and not to pay attention to it, or even let the client know they have noticed anything.
For men it is natural to get an erection while receiving a massage. It is a physical reaction triggered by nerves and physical stimuli to sensitive areas. Women also can get physical reactions, though these are usually much less visible.
The more worried and stressed a client is about physical reactions to a massage, the more likely it is going to happen. It is a little trick our mind plays, and the recommendation is to breathe deeply, focus on breathing, try and ignore the physical reaction and just allow oneself to enjoy the massage. There is nothing sexual at all in getting an erection or another physical reaction to a massage.
The more used to getting a massage one is, the less is the risk of any physical reaction. The client can relax more and the 'tabu' of being touched has been 'broken' and become a natural thing.
A therapist must never touch the genitals or nipples. These are off-limit areas due to the intimacy of such a touch, nor is there any therapeutic benefit to such massage. A woman's breasts are not massaged either. A massage can be a sensual enjoyable experience, but it must never become sexual.
If the genitals happen to be in the way during the massage that area is just not massaged. There are plenty of techniques which can be used instead, and many surrounding areas which can be treated without having to relocate anything.
To sum up. Nudity is normal and non-sexual. Erections do happen and are completely natural. A massage therapist is trained to ignore such reactions. And a massage therapist will never touch any private areas.
Related articles:
More about Massage and Nudity, Massage and the Sexual Aspect.
Labels: Taboos, The massage, Therapist and client
posted by Pia | 12:00
74 Comments:
Dear Ms Poulson
I was directed to this blog entry from another forum and I wanted to tell you it is very informative and helpful. I am one of those people who worry about getting an erection, and I had a question about this. You mentioned that the therapist is trained to ignore this reaction. However I find there is still a lot of embarrassment on my part, even if the therapist isn't embarrassed. My question is whether it is appropriate the let the therapist know in advance that an erection might happen. If it is, could you suggest an appropriate form of words or sentences to convey this tactfully? Can you also suggest when is the best time during the pre-massage discussion the client should mention this. Thank you very much again.
Dear Anonymous,
I am very happy my article has been helpful to you.
If you should let the therapist know in advance essentially comes down to if it will make you feel the most comfortable.
If it will make you feel better and more relaxed by talking about it, then by all means do it. I would suggest you mention it when you feel safe and comfortable, which likely will be before you undress, but in the privacy of the massage-room. Or once you're undressed but covered by draping.
The wording is a tricky thing. You should say what is natural for you and comfortable for you. If you are usually blunt and outspoken, then speak bluntly and let the therapist know that you have a tendency to get erections from being massaged and would like to warn her or him it might happen.
If you seek more of a reassurance and feel uncomfortable speaking about it, use a more indirect approach. Mention to the therapist that you feel you have a problem that makes you feel uncomfortable and embarrassed. This way you can turn it into a small conversation where the therapist gets the chance to reassure you that it doesn't matter.
If you feel better just not talking about it, then don't say anything. The less you worry about what the therapist might think and what might happen, the less likely it is to happen.
I hope the above was useful to you. Feel free to contact me via mail or here if you have further questions.
A reader wrote: Personally I am not embarrassed about it as things like this must happen from time to time. However, I am worried in case I embarrassed or offended her in anyway. Should I apologise to her next time? Should I even go back again? Has anything like this happened to you in your experience that you could use to help me?
As a massage therapist we're trained to know that erections are natural and nothing personal against us. Based on your description, you didn't embarrass or offend her or make her uncomfortable. As you write, she acted normal afterwards. My guess would be she was more concerned about you feeling uncomfortable with the open display of the erection as the drape moved aside.
I don't think you need to give an apology. As long as you both are comfortable with it happening and do not change behaviour due to it, then there is nothing to apologize for. She knows that it is natural to happen. Massaging the upper thigh, and especially the inner thigh, does stimulate nerves which can cause an erection. It is one of the most sensitive areas of the body and generally seen as an erogenous zone as well.
If you liked the massage and her treatment of you, then of course you should go back to her. It can be hard to find a good massage therapist who suits you and can address your needs and problems in a way that makes you completely comfortable with it. So as long as you are satisfied with her treatment, feel comfortable with her and enjoy it, then I don't see any reason why you shouldn't go back.
She is a new therapist to you and her touch a bit unfamiliar, so it's not unusual that erections happen more in the beginning until you fully get used to her healing touch.
Personally I would be sad if a client felt they had to change therapist because they had an erection while I gave them a massage. It is nothing I pay attention to and my main worry is more if the client starts to feel uncomfortable about it and if they can relax fully. I certainly don't bring it up afterwards and I think I would feel embarrassed should I receive an apology afterwards. To me it's one of those things that you just ignore, just like farting is ignored or snoring when some fall asleep on the table. There is no need to make the situation uncomfortable by bringing it up afterwards in my opinion.
I chanced on this site when I was looking for something totally different. But I thought how sensitive and sensible it was of Pia to write these two phrases: "For men it is natural to get an erection while receiving a massage...... There is nothing sexual at all in getting an erection or another physical reaction to a massage." How refreshing, when in England most people try to pretend such things never happen or should not happen. I feel sure that many more men in England would be wiling to take the benefits of massage, aromatherapy and the like if only they were assured that Pia's understanding would be applied.
Well said Pia, please broadcast your message far and wide!
Dear Lifelong Learner,
Thank you for your words. I am trying to spread the word. Comments like yours help with that and helps with the general education about massage and what good it can do us all.
Cheers.
Pia
I would like to add that last week i seeked the need of an experienced massage therapist and for a problemb with a sore back any way my therapist suggested getting undressed all the way untill nude she also did the right by stating that if i was uncomfortable i can leave underware on, so i did just that i got completely nude and yes at first i felt embarised but i allowed the sesion to go ahead and yes also during the session i got a partial errection and at that piont i did feel embarrised as she was working around the hip area and yes my erection was right in her eyes and yes again i felt slightly uncomfortable and yes my therapist did make eye contact when this happened but no wards were said and she continued her work and slowly i regained my composure but i have now found that being naked was a wonderfull experience and i recommend it to all and hopefully i am over being tense/ shy and hopfully my next massage will turn out to be less of a worry and i will enjoy
cd
Hi cd,
I'm happy that you had a good experience with getting a massage and overcoming your shyness. Congratulations, it's great to hear.
Pia
Dear Ms Poulson
I have been going to a Lady for massage to help my sciatica but I had to keep my underwear on. I saw her my be 10 times it did not help that much then I changed therapists after reading your artical and the new Lady said that I should remove my underwear so she could do my buttocks I was a little bothered in case I got an erection but she put my mind at rest and after 2 or 3 treatments my sciatica was much better and even when I got an erection i was not embarrassed about it
Dear Anonymous,
I'm happy to hear my article was useful to you and you found a therapist who could help with your sciatica.
Rhere are techniques which can be performed through cloth. Especially pressure, releasing trigger points, does not care if there's cloth between or not. Other techniques such as stripping (gliding firmly over the skin) can't be done with clothing.
Thank you for your reply Ms Poulson the first lady I saw only massaged my upper back and then started again half way down my leg my underwear was boxer shorts and she did not move them at all. What I read in your article it is good to have your buttocks massage and my new lady massages all my back buttocks and legs and I am sure it helps my sciatica. She only massages my legs and tummy and top part of my groin on the front I think it is because of the time she spent on my back. The first time I saw my new lady and she was massaging my legs and tummy I did become erect but she had told me in the consultaion that it was a common thing to happen and that I should not be embarrassed about it if it did happen and that is the same as what you said in your article. I do find it happens less now I have got used to being naked
Hi Pia
Thank you vey much for your informative posts. I have received a few massages over the years from different therapists and they have been very helpful in relieving stress and sore muscles. I often have got an erection when they do the hips, buttocks, inner thigh and hamstrings. I have gotten very embarrassed, they have never said anything except for when i apologise and they say it is fine.
But twice with different therapists i have ejaculated while my hamstrings were getting massaged, is this normal? i was so embarrased they didnt say anything when it happened but they must have known. Im actually going back to see one of them soon and do you think i should bring it up for discussion? and what should i say? im worried it will happen again and im not sure if they saw it happen the first time, and i also need the area massaged as it gets very tight. I would appreciate some guidance on this issue from you. Thanks.
Dear Aaorn,
I don't know if it's normal or precisely what would case it, expect that the thighs, especially the inner thighs are highly sensitive and that you might have associated the massage-touches with erotic touches subconsciously. It's not the first time I've heard of it happening, though I think it's uncommon.
To be able to speak about matters like this you need trust. So if you feel you trust your therapist, then I think you should speak about it. You can always ask the therapist if he or she knows why a thing like that happened and what they might recommend.
I know it's a topic that's difficult to speak about, being so private and embarrassing at the same time. I am a strong believer in open communication though. It's the best way to brush away worries and bring education on the table. So if you pose it as a question, trying to learn why a thing like that would happen, you approach it in a manner that's less personal than directly addressing your prior experience. You'll leave the ball in the therapist's courtyard and can from their reaction judge if it's a topic they're comfortable speaking about or not.
I hope this helped. I'll do a bit of research into the topic and see if I might learn anything. It's not something which was covered during my training I must admit, but I have contact to many skilled massage therapists all over the world and I'm sure someone there can help.
Cheers.
Pia
Bonjour madame Poulson,
It's nice to read an article like that from time to time. Most of the time asking to be nude is immediatly interpreted as something unhealthy or related to a sexual request.
I'm a lucky man here, I often visit two therapists (one is actually a registered therapist and the other is a "masseuse" with an course in sports massage but no certification) and both of them, after getting to know each other for a few sessions, allowed me to be completely nude during the session.
As far as I'm concerned this does make the massage more sensual than when draped, but since it's understood between me and the therapists that i'm not looking for a sexual outcome, we're cool. I get erections during the sessions, depending on the region being massaged, but I just breathe deeply, relax, and we both act as if nothing happens.
The end result is a massage that is more fluid, more sensual, yet not sexual. I end up waaaay more relaxed in the end and would not go back to being draped.
Have a nice day!
Bonjour Anonymous,
It's good to hear you've found two therapists who give good massages and you have a healthy relationship between you without misunderstandings.
It is a problem to talk about sensual massages. Because the sex-business has abused the word massage, sensual massage often becomes a cover-word for sexual services and many people misunderstand what is meant.
I've had plenty of enquiries about sensual and sexual massages and it seems that everybody inquiring for one use the word sensual as a synonym for sexual.
I would suggest that if you seek an undraped massage not to use words like sensual as the therapist will likely be used to men inquiring about sexual massages while using the word sensual. In our day and time a word like sensual is heavily sexually loaded and most can't make the distinction between them.
It's a hard thing to explain and I think you've almost have to have been there to truly understand the difference.
It's great you've found a couple of therapists where there's no issues, and I think your approach is a good one as well. Give the therapists a change to get to know you before stepping beyond what is norm and limits for many.
Hi Pia
Thank you very much for your response i glad to know it has happened with other men and not just me! I would appreciate it if you do manage to get more information on the matter from other therapists as well and get back to me.
Just for record both times the ejactulations occured it was when i was on my stomach and the hamstrings were getting massaged, i always get an erection when this area is getting massaged and i just lost control.
Im getting my next massage in a few days and will let you know how things go, im still unsure if i will discuss it with the therapist yet as i dont want to offend her if she didnt see it happening. I just hope it doesnt happen this time.
thanks
Dear Ms Poulson,
I have been visiting a spa over the past eight months about twice a month. The last visit turned out to be quite embarrassing. It is mandatory to wear underwear in this spa. Usually myself and therapist are quite comfortable even though I have an erection while massaging sensitive areas. In the last visit while being massaged in my inner thigh, I could not control and ended up ejaculating and was quite embarrassed, it was nice of the therapist though to continue ignoring my situation. And in fact I enjoyed the massage much better after ejaculation... and was more relaxed. I have started to think may be it is better to go for a massage after a masturbation to truly enjoy without being distracted... do you suggest if this may be more tiring or I just continue even if it happens again as the therapist seems to understand and ignore? Also, the therapists here also massage my nipples regularly. Is this normal as I had not experienced this in other spas anywhere else in the world.
It is very nice to see clear and sensible communication in this blog about these concerns and especially prompt response from yourself.
I'll come back and answer questions and give general advice in a couple of days. I'm getting other professional opinions and want to sit down and have time to give a good in depth answer and good suggestions.
One thing now though, if it continues to be a problem, see your doctor. There can be other more serious problems behind involuntarily ejaculations.
For ejaculations during a massage it can come down to several things. First of I'd like to repeat that an erection is completely natural and happens when men relax. Just think of how it can happen during the night. Nothing mysterious there at all.
Ejaculation is more unusual and doesn't happen to the majority of men. There are several factors which can play in.
1. There can be medical reasons, both in regards to medicine taken which can cause dysfunctions in the body, or it can be a sign of other health problems. So if it's an ongoing problem, do visit a physician to rule out any serious causes.
2. See a male massage therapist and see if the same happens. To many men, a female touch is subconsciously seen as sensual and erotic and that might be a factor. If the ejaculation also happens while visiting a male massage therapist, and continues to do so, then see a physician to rule out any serious health problems.
3. Young men tend to be much more sensitive to touch and if they do not engage regularly with a sexual partner this can be a reason also.
4. People, both men and women, who're celebrate and haven't engaged in sexual activity with a partner for a while can experience touch and massage as erotic and react accordingly. So take into consideration the quality of your sex-life as well as how long it's been.
4. The more used to massages you are, the less sensual it will become. Our mind tends to draw its own connections. And if we think that touch and nudity (or even partial nudity) equals erotic adventures and sexuality, then getting a massage will subconsciously be seen as such.
One thing that can be done is to train your mind to disassociate touch and sexuality. Touching people there is no sexual connection with. Hugging family members, giving a back-rub clothed to a friend of the same gender (or opposite if gay), applying cream and do self-massage and so on. All things that are non-sexual but involves touching of your body. This way you'll teach your mind that touch isn't sexual and better be able to relax on the massage table. This can be useful if celebrate and the problem severe.
Of course, getting a bunch of non-erotic massages will do the trick. Just make sure that you do not get any erotic massages either. If you get an erotic massage, then you'll break the disassociation you've created. Teach yourself that massage isn't sexual in any way and the problem with erections and ejaculations should subside and disappear completely.
Again, if the problem continues, or you're in doubt, see your physician to rule out any medical or health reasons.
We're humans and as humans, touch is a much needed part of our lives. Our culture doesn't support touch much and that can cause a problem when touch is mostly seen as a sexual activity and not a natural expression of care and understanding.
Dear Ms Poulson,
Thank you again for being so open about every thing. I told you about my siatica and being much better being massaged with out underwear on well the therapist massages a lot on my buttocks and thighs in side and out. I am 61 years old but when she is massaging my inside leg I keep thingking that I am going to ended up ejaculating I have told her but she just said It will not happen because I am to old
I'm really glad to see that a more open communication with your massage therapist happens.
It is important that these things can be spoken about and be brought into the open for the best treatment and experience for the client. But also for the massage therapists to ensure there are no misunderstandings.
Unfortunately it's still a very private and almost taboo topic, but hopefully we can slowly encourage a more open communication as we all become better educated with these matters.
I'm grateful that my post and responses are helpful and useful. That was the idea of writing about this topic in the first place since it is such a delicate matter to discuss.
Hi Pia
Thank you very much for doing some research on the subject. I found it very informative and helpful for my situation. While i dont think its a medical problem i do tend to have a problem with premature ejaculation sometimes which probably contributes to the issue. I do think one thing you stated is correct in my situation that i may subconsciously think that a womens touch is sensual in a way, so that is one thing im going to work on!
I did state i would let you know how my most recent massage went and the same thing happened i ejaculated in the same position on my stomach getting my upper hamstrings massaged, so im also wondering now if i subconsciously associate that specific area with ejaculation. I was too scared to apologise or say anything at the time. Although when i turned onto my back and i got an erection when my hips were getting massaged and it got in the therapists way i apologised to her. She didnt say anything back just moved to another area and continued. I was worried she was mad about it but she carried on as normal and was friendly at the end and asked when i would like my next appointment. So i was thinking may be it has happened to her before and thats how she likes to deal with it?
I really appreciate that you are here to talk about issues like this Pia otherwise i would be lost! and i suppose it helps with your learning and development in your profession.
Hi Aaorn,
I'm grateful you've found answers to some of all your questions and concerns. I find it's always easier to deal with a challenge when I know what it is that scares me and upsets me about it.
As for erections, they're very common. About 50% of all men I massage get them, the less used to massage they are the more frequent it is. As your therapist did, I just move around it, don't pay attention to the situation and normally, massage elsewhere will cause the erection to subside and the areas that it covered can then be addressed.
When you do draped massages, you can use the sheet/towel to shift the penis aside so it doesn't become any problem in regards to what muscles can be treated and massaged.
I can't imagine any professional massage therapist become angry over an erection. It is one of the most common reactions when males relax and we know this.
And yes, I gain insight and knowledge through these discussions as well. I must admit my massage training didn't include ejaculations, nor did I know they were possible before I received the first inquiry through my blog. Now I know how things work and what the causes are and can advice my clients about their doubts if it happens, and I know how to react so it becomes a good experience for the client.
All the best,
Pia
Hi Pia
Do you know any thing about naturist massages are they genuine or some thing to stat clear of
Hi Anonymous,
I don't know much about the naturist massages. Based on the job-ads I've seen here, it seems that the word naturist is used as a cover up for sexual massages and sex-work. Esp. since they always require young good looking women to massage etc.
Be aware that most massage therapist organisations wouldn't allow naturist massage at all. The FFMBE has a dress code for the therapists, and I can't imagine any massage therapist organisation in the US allowing naturist massage.
I fear you might have difficulties finding a good massage therapist doing naturist massage. I suggest you contact the naturist resorts (hotels, beaches etc) of good reputations and hear their recommendations.
Dear Ms Poulson
I have contacted you before and all ways know that your comments are good. I have been going for a massage to the same therapist now for my be 10 or 12 treatments we have got to know each other well and I am happy being naked for the massage I mostly get an erection when she starts massaging my inner leg but just recently when I was there her hand came in contact with my privates more that ones and they some times stopped there for may be half a min do you think it is because she knows me well now and is not bothered about touching me there now. and should I say some thing to her or not it was only when she was doing my inside leg and tummy
Dear Anonymous,
No professional massage therapist would ever touch your privates. Period.
That said, a brief brush might happen rarely, but a touch of your genitals is not part of massage therapy. There is no therapeutic reason for her to touch your privates. She is not providing an erotic massage I would hope. What you describe is not a professional massage and all massage schools discourages anything of the sort, even if it's just what might be perceived the wrong way.
I would suggest that you talk to her and inquire her why she is touching your genitals. It's not proper, nor necessary for a massage. If she's interested in building a private relationship with you, then I must stress such should happen off the table and outside of any situation related to the massage. It might also be beneficial in that case to find another therapist.
Confront her and if necessary, find another therapist.
I hope this is of help to you.
Good luck.
Pia
Thank you Pia
I have been back to her today and asked her the reason that she kepted touching my private parts and she said that she needed to massage all my legs because i had got water retention and my privates was stopping her from doing my inside leg and groin area so she just pulled them to one side untill she had finished and she apoligized and said she will not touch me there again
Dear Anon,
Your private parts can indeed be in the way of massaging all parts of the leg. I would have expected any professional to ask permission to shift your genitals aside, or ask you to do it, and explain what is going on, instead of just doing it.
There are draping techniques which address this problem, and this way the therapist never gets to touch the genitals as it's the towel or sheet which is in contact.
I'm glad to hear though that you spoke to your therapist about it and got things cleared and put in place.
Cheers
Pia
Hello Pia
Have just been reading your posts, its good to have a massage therapist to ask questions dealing with this issue. A problem i have, well im not sure if its a problem. But a couple of months ago i was having a massage and when the therapist moved the drape and started massaging my butt i became very aroused. She told me to relax but i was so aroused i just ejaculated on the table. She didnt say anything but do you think she noticed since she told me to relax? Afterwards i felt guilty but then i realized i felt really good and relieved. So since then i have had a few massages with the same lady and also one of her colleagues and i make sure each time i ejaculate since it makes the whole massage experience feel better and i feel a lot better after the massage. Do you think this is ok? Also im not sure if they notice or not. I have read previous comments and it seems this isnt very common, im wondering though if you have experienced it in your career? Thank You.
Dear Warren,
I've not personally experienced involuntarily ejaculation from my male clients. I know though that as a therapist I would become concerned and feel uncomfortable if my client ejaculated every time I gave him a massage.
The distinction between sexual pleasure and non-sexual pleasure can be very fine and we as therapists are working very hard to de-sexualize massage. If I had a client who ejaculated every time and he didn't seem to relax and just receive the massage, I would worry that the massage had gotten sexual, which isn't the intention of professional massage therapy at all.
While an orgasm can be very releasing and relaxing, it is a different type of relaxation than meditation and massage brings. It often drains of energy instead of energize you, whereas a good massage will leave you feel deeply relaxed, but also energized.
I would strongly suggest that you separate the sexual relaxation from the relaxation massage gives. You risk that your therapist becomes stressed and uncomfortable massaging you as she won't be able to know why you ejaculate during massages.
I think it could prove very beneficial for you if you could teach yourself to fully relax and let go while receiving the massage, without needing the orgasm to receive the same deep relaxation. It is fully possible to feel just as relaxed, and even more relaxed, from a massage alone than an orgasm will.
I hope this helps you and you'll take it under consideration. If nothing else, then for the comfort of your massage therapist. These things are very boundary pushing and can so easily be misunderstood.
Cheers,
Pia
Hi Pia,
I have regular massages and prefer to be nude,no draping-in fact like to be nude whenever I can! My therapist is fine with this. I occasionally get an erection but usually don't because I think I'm just so used to being nude with her as well as being relaxed. It's good to hear from another therapist like you though who is not offended when a man gets erect-by the way I have never ejaculated, it just eventually subsides. I usually say "oops" and we have a laugh over it. The first time it happened I was uncomfortable . s
Whengoing to a new therapist , what in your opinion is the best way to ask if she is o.k. with you being nude with no covers?
I think your advice is great and helping many males understand. After many years of this not happening it started. The reaction from different therapists has ranged from a non verbal horror on their fact to relax its normal. I am becoming more aware of energy release and have had what mini spasm. Once with just a Cranial Sacral touch on my back. I experience a dry whole body like orgasm. What is your experience with energy release?
Dear Anonymous,
I agree that the more comfortable you are about your nudity and the less you associate nudity with sexuality, the less risks there are for erections. Nudity is seen as sexual by most people, so we need to step carefully when breaching the topic.
As for asking a new therapist, why not just ask directly and openly if she provides an un-draped massage as it gives a better flow to the massage. If she says no, then just leave it be and don't push the topic any further. For many, a level of trust needs to be established before nudity can be accepted in a massage, so give it time and see what happens. After some sessions with the new therapist, you can openly discuss it with her as part of the discussion about your massage talk.
Dear energy conscious,
As a therapist, especially a female, we can be rather vulnerable during a massage session. We're the only person in the room with the client and I thing we've all imagined horror stories of what can happen if a male client suddenly decides to follow his lusts. This is why trust is so essential between client and therapist. We of course also have people who're plain scared of sexuality and can't see it as a natural part of our lives due to different reasons; religion, upbringing or even assaults and rapes.
I personally don't have any experiences with energy releases the way you describe it. An orgasm is an energy release, though focused on our more primal instincts and lower chakras. Tantra has the purpose of moving the energy release from the lower chakras to become a purely spiritual experience. The satisfaction and experience should be even better than what we normally receive from an orgasm.
I do believe that a massage, and other bodywork, can create energy releases. If I were you I'd consider myself fortunate and explore and study the subject. Try to learn as much as possible and discover what precisely is happening and how you can use it to grow as a person and reach your highest potential.
Good luck.
Dear Pia,
Thanks for the amazing blog, very rare therapists are so open to discuss all topics, embarrassing or not. I have recently been going to massages every week, though expensive, i have seen a significant increase in my general wellness. I have also experienced similar problems regarding erection and also involuntary ejaculation. When i was on my back (genitals draped), my inner thighs were being massaged, in 2 different instances i ejaculated all of the sudden without warning. Which was very strange given the non-sexual nature of the massage, i noticed the same exact spot when pressure was applied to it triggered this event. In both instances it was ignored by the therapist and she continued her work, i am unsure if she noticed it or not. Are there certain trigger points that may cause ejaculation ?
Based on my research it seems to be happening alot, but when you generally ask therapists they deny of any involuntary ejaculation, is it because its a very sensitive issue/topic so alot of therapists might not be talking about it?
Thanks and keep up the great work!
Dear Pia,
You are not only beautiful, but your blog is amazing, it has really educated me alot massage and wellness as i used to avoid it previously in general. Thank you for opening my mind!
In regard to energy release. I lost the link but found your response finally. You actually understood and answered the question. Thank you! Reading your blog is a very real experience. Nudity during massage removes barriers. Sorting these sexual vs sensual vs life force feelings is a challenge. The ability to ask a question and get a real response is instrumental in such a journey of searching for answers. I believe most true massage healers are in tune with energy they touch. I understand that this is not sexual but feeling of life force is similar. The therapist that allowed the root chakra release always covers me. A second therapist I go to allows uncovered but I am very twitchy when the energy flows. This therapist allows me to touch myself, I am working at not to doing this. She does not encourage it but will not tell me to stop. My question is: Can a therapist totally remove themselves and ignore the reality without disconnecting from the moment. I do not wish to cause her to be uncomfortable but the feeling is intense. She claims its all about me and I should honor the feelings as it does not bother her. I am always in search of answers. I honor your opinion as it is not close minded.
Thanks for sharing your heart.
D
Dear Anonymous,
I don't know if there's exactly trigger points which can cause ejaculation. But it is very well known that we have many sensitive and erogenous zones. Most of us don't think about it much and just go for the classics like the genital area, bust, butt etc. Most people don't even realize that their toes or knee or under-arm can be an erogenous zone.
So my guess is that your therapist found a spot that's highly erogenous for you and that's why such an intense reaction happens.
Another thing to consider is that there can be some nerve connection. Who hasn't tried to feel a nerve twitch in their leg when they pressed a point on the shoulder. If those twitches are intense, I suspect there might be some nerve that's being squeezed or some sort of imbalance at least. Creating a proper bodily balance might reduce the reactions from nerves. Chraniosacral therapy could be a thing to try here.
As for why most therapists haven't heard about it, yes I think you're right. It's a very sensitive topic to discuss. Due to general ignorance, I can easily imagine a therapist wondering if she did something wrong to make it happen, even if she did nothing wrong at all. There's of course also the general scare of anything sexual (and an ejaculation has to be that people think), so can the therapist be misunderstood if she shares how a client got an ejaculation during a treatment?
I think ejaculation isn't very common, not compared to erection at least and that happens in my experience for about 50% of all new male clients. So many haven't experienced it first hand, and those who have, won't talk much about it. Let's hope the discussion can become more open.
Dear Anon,
Thank you for your words. I'm happy that my blog has helped you see how great and wonderful massage can be. Please don't hesitate to ask any question you might have and feel free to bring up further topics for articles which can aid you in your journey towards wellness.
Cheers!
Dear D,
It's tricky questions you ask and not an area I'm an expert within. Energies and what happens during a massage or bodywork session is very interesting, and I have seen first hand how powerful these things can be.
When I give a massage, I tune into the client. A silent communication begins between us, with energy exchanges and messages. My intuition takes over when it comes to knowing where an area needs to be massaged, if a session is becoming too intense and so on.
I tune into the client, but she also tunes into me. I pick up how she feels and she picks up how I feel. That is why it's so important that the therapist has the right intent when starting a session, and that the therapist leaves behind all personal issues. I'd go as far as to say that if a therapist has a really bad day or feel depressed, she shouldn't give a massage.
We are all human and far from perfect. I think that only a very few therapists can completely remove themselves from a situation and not allow any personal emotion to come through and not pick up anything from the client. We aim to become a channel of healing energy from a higher force (by whatever name you give it). To let the healing flow through us into the client and let that same flow carry away the client's issues.
It sounds like the intentions of your therapist are good and right. She wants you to heal and wants to help you. She will be picking up on your sensual energies and will likely feel some reaction to it, though which she only knows.
As for touching yourself, I'd advice against it. Both for the obvious reason of maintaining boundaries between therapy and sexual release, avoiding uncomfortable situations for both you and the entire matter of ethics.
But mostly from an energy point of view. In my experience, an orgasm/release of energy through sexual means, wastes the energy. The flow can start at the extremes, crawl through your body and upward, but it gets stuck around 2nd chakra and the release stops it from going anywhere further. It remains a basic low-vibrating energy, which doesn't sound like what you're trying to achieve at all.
Were I you, I'd try to focus on opening the chakra completely, receive all the energy, observe it and then aim to move it upward, to increase the vibration and transform it into 3rd chakra energy. You can use visualization for instance. See the red/orange energy become brighter, turn yellow or even green or blue. See how it goes through the spectrum and becomes higher and higher.
I personally think this is why many monks live in celibacy. They aim to transform their primal sexual energies into something higher and more spiritual. This is the same reason you find monks not eating meat as that's a low energy vibration, whereas vegetables and fruits have a high vibration.
When all comes to all, it's about what your intent and want you want to achieve. I strongly believe in "everything with moderation" and avoiding extremes (like no sex at all to achieve enlightenment).
I hope this helps.
Pia
Hi Pia,
I want to thank you for your good advice. When I booked my last appt. I asked the therapist who I had gone to twice previously if she would be comfortable with me being nude and undraped.I book by e-mail . She responded that she had no problem with it. My last appt. was probably one of the best massages I have ever had! It probably helps that we are comfortable with each other. She seemed more comfortable even herself moving from one area to the next. She massaged my glutes ,which you have mentioned contain many muscles, much more thoroughly than when draped. I have normally been massaged laying on my stomach first; she began with me on my back massaging feet to my head. In any event I thoroughly enjoyed it and was never more relaxed.
Dear Anonymous,
You're most welcome. I'm only happy to help. It's really great to hear that your last appointment was one of the best massages you have ever had.
Open and honest communication is so important, especially where trust is so essential. It's great that you took the step and asked the question.
Good luck and enjoyment in your massage journey.
Pia
All of these comments are great! I have learned alot from them! I just got my first massage today and I was completely naked under a sheet(I was comfortable). I became very aroused when she started massaging my inner thighs. I was nervous because I didn't know how it would be viewed. I ignored it and tried to relax. A few times her hands brushed up against my penis, but acted like she never noticed. She was very professional afterwards, acting like nothing happened. Good to know I am not alone. I am comfortable naked in front of people. How would I go about telling her I am comfortable without the sheet?(if that is allowed at the massage parlor)
Dear Anonymous,
Congratulations on receiving your first massage. I'm happy to hear the comments have been useful to you.
You do not mention where in the world you're located. In the US there's law-regulations about draping and nudity, so in most places it wouldn't be legal to be nude and un-draped during a massage.
A word of caution as well. When you say massage parlor, people will think a place for sexual massage. It is often the expression used by the sex-workers and that business. Massage clinic, spa and so on would be better expressions to use if you want to be certain to avoid misunderstandings.
One way to bring up the draping during massage could be to ask into the local laws where you live and take the discussion from there.
Good luck, and welcome to the world of massages.
Cheers,
Pia
Thank you for the advise! I really appreciate it. I live in Idaho and have been looking for a law requiring draping but I can't any sources. Can you help?
Thanks
Dear Anonymous,
I don't know the precise rules for the different states in the USA as I live in France at the moment.
I would suggest you contact either one of the local colleges offering massage therapy education and ask, or ask one of the massage therapy organisations. They'll certainly know what rules and regulations are locally and nationally.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Massage_therapist_organizations#In_the_USA is the Wikipedia page listing them. A quick search on the web should give you contact information.
From a quick search myself there doesn't seem to be any state regulations or certifications in Idaho. I do not know though if draping might be a national requirement to distinguish massage therapy from prostitution. It's possible. I'm certain one of the organisations, or a local massage therapy school can help there.
Feel free to share your discoveries.
Cheers
Pia
Dear Pia
First thank you for all your coments. I have been having a massage from the same lady for years now I go naked no towel. Over the years she as got to massage more of me than she did when I first started with her she massages my in side leg tummy and groin and her hand very often contects my genitals I do not feel there is any thing wrong with this being as I have been going to her so long. What do you think
Dear Anonymous,
You do not mention what sort of contact we're talking about. Accidents do happen. If you're focused on massaging an area and caught up in the flow, contact can happen moving forth and back. The more comfortable and familiar a therapist is with a client, the less worry she has about the accidental contact and thinks less about it, which can make it happen more often as she focuses on the massage. It happens to all massage therapists I'm sure, even with sheets and towel.
That you pose the question if it's appropriate or not, makes me wonder if you do feel completely comfortable with the situation and the massage. It'll be in your interest to look into yourself and really feel if you're fully comfortable with it or not. Do you have any suspicions? How do you feel intent is? Would the massage be better without and so on. The answers you find will tell you if there's anything wrong or not.
If you're not fully comfortable and you feel it's wrong, then it's something you should take up with your therapist. Just mention that it distracts your relaxation and jolts you a bit every time it happens (if that's the case or you're uncomfortable about telling that it makes you uncomfortable), and just ask her to pay a bit more attention so you can enjoy the massage better.
I hope this helps. It's most likely an accident and nothing she even thinks about afterwards, but the essential is how you feel about it all.
Cheers
Pia
Hi Pia
I am the one that contacted you on the 24/11/09
You menioned that I may not be comfortable with what the therapist is doing but I am very comfortable I feel very relaxed with her even when one of her hands rests on my private parts holding them clear of my groin and her other hand is massaging my groin. She as not always done this but over the years that I have been seening her it as just gone a little bit more that way. I am 68 years old my wife past away 10 years ago and I do not get hard very often
Dear Anonymous,
The only reason I brought up the question about being comfortable is because you raised the question if there was anything wrong in how your therapist does her massage.
If both of you are fully comfortable and at ease with the massage, then there's nothing wrong at all. All too often I hear of situations where a massage became less because of modesty or wrongly perceived actions. You have people who never had their stomach, pectoralis major or buttocks massaged.
Stomach massage can release a lot of old tied up emotions, it aids digestion and helps with body posture.
Massage of the pectoralis major is essential for people suffering from computer related pains, especially in neck, shoulders and back.
The buttocks contain a large muscle group which connects the back with the legs. Massage here helps with posture, back pains and much more.
It is really a shame when people deny themselves the opportunity to receive massage on these areas, both for treating specific injuries and pains, but also for overall wellness.
Unfortunately a large part of society associates massaging these areas with sexual/sensual actions. This is why trust and clear communication is so important.
It is wonderful to hear that you have that deep trust and good communication with your therapist. I only wish more people will experience this.
Hi Pia,
Is there something as massage addiction? Can going to for a massage on weekly basis harm your body on the long run ? Does your body get too used to it where you get crams if you don't go for one anymore.
Because i heard of this problem before, was wondering if its true.
Hi Pia,
I am sorry if we bother you with so many questions, especially alot of them are very "private". but i am glad you have no problems answering them.
Alot of us , especially men experience all sort of things from massage, i would say 90% of us don't go for sexual pleasures, but we discover that our body reacts in strange ways. Like for example Ejaculation / Erection, such things usually happen when sex is involved, but from my own experience even very honest people go through this and are embarrased.
I want to know what is the general view from a professional masseuse point of view, about erections and ejaculations ? Are they usually frowned upon ? DO they feel offended if an erection occurs alot, or if the person ejaculates even if his genitals were not touched. Or do they all understand that its part of a natural energy release process.
Thanks and keep it up
Dear Anonymous,
Re massage addiction:
I haven't heard that too many massages should cause any harm. I'm inquiring with my network if there is anything to it and will return to you once I have an answer.
Pia
Dear Anonymous,
There is never anything like too many questions. It is much better to ask them openly and receive answers than mull over them and jump to the wrong conclusions. So please don't hesitate, and ask away.
Yes, I too believe that for most men the reactions of their body is involuntarily and something they would avoid if they could. And it is my belief that because it's such a taboo and is not spoken about, embarrassment is so strong.
I would claim, without knowing every single therapist out there, that the great majority knows that an erection is utterly normal and can happen. At my massage school we were warned about erections and told that they're completely natural and just happens outside of control and sexual thoughts.
Ejaculations I think are much more rare, or at least not spoken about. It wasn't mentioned in my school, nor have I experienced any client ejaculate. The first time I heard about ejaculation during a massage was when I was asked the question here. Asking around in my professional network, most hadn't heard of it before, but a few had experienced it as a natural energy release.
How ejaculation is perceived by the therapist will depend a lot on the relationship between the client and therapist. How the client behaves and presents himself in general, how he reacts during and after the massage, what type of massage he is receiving and so on.
It of course also depends on how comfortable and experienced the therapist is, as well as what personal history there might be. Has she/he had bad experiences in that regard in the past, suspicion will naturally occur. Human relationships, be it personal or professional, can be so utterly complicated because of the lack of communication and basic trust.
There will naturally be therapists who do not understand what is happening and think there are ulterior motives behind an erection or ejaculation.
I can't imagine any therapist frowning upon an erection unless there are suspicions about sexual motives lying behind it. As I've mentioned earlier, open communication can clarify what confusion and misunderstanding there might be.
I hope the above answered your questions. If you need clarification or have new inquiries, please feel free to post them.
Cheers
Pia!
Thanks for the insight Pia,
To avoid an erection, do you think it is best to masturbate before going to the therapist? The last time I went to my therapist, I had an erection (I get all massages from her undraped) and she put some message oil on my hand. She told me that although it is improper for her to do this, that the massage would be more beneficial if I dealt with my erection first. I masturbated and ejaculated while she did some paperwork at her desk in the room, then she continued the massage. (I have been going to her for about 5 years and got erections about a dozen times) Afterwards, she told me she only told me to do this becuase I have been going to her for so long and that she knows that there is nothing sexual between us (she is fairly older than me and not very attractive).
Dear Anonymous,
What your therapist did is rather unusual and does blur the borders between appropriate and inappropriate behaviour. It makes me think that the erection became a problem for her (or she thinking it was for you) since she took such a step.
In this case, it might be an idea to masturbate before going to the therapist, though in reality that is not really any guarantee that an erection won't happen.
When we go to a massage therapist it's our responsibility to prepare ourselves so we can just let go, relax and receive the treatment. What's needed will be different for various people. There are women who think they have to shave before going, otherwise they can't fully relax as they concern themselves with how they look. Where an erection might cause a concern with males, masturbation can be a solution. Just make sure it's done at home and away from the clinic/spa so the two doesn't become associated with sexual pleasures.
Cheers
Pia
Hi Pia
Do you think it would be better if the therapist did not massage the inside leg tummy buttocks and groin of all there male clients. This could stop any erection from coming up.
Or is massaging that part of the body beneficial
Dear Anonymous,
There are many benefits to massaging those areas you mention. I have described stomach massage in a previous article: http://www.starkeys.com/blog/2008/08/why-massage-stomach.html and I have plans to write about the benefits of pectoralis (chest) and buttock massage, of which there are many.
Even in the groin area, especially around the hips, there are many deeper lying muscles which can greatly benefit from massage. It all depends on your conditions and issues.
For a general massage, inner thighs, buttocks, stomach and chest should be covered to gain the most from a massage. It does come down to the clients and their needs and the therapist will evaluate each case individually.
Hi AGAIN Pia
I have a massage every 4 or 5 weeks and the therapist all ways massages inner thighs, buttocks, stomach and groin area and I all ways get an erection when she massages these parts that is the reason I asked if it was beneficial. I am not at all embarrassed and I do not think she is when it comes up but some men could be.
Dear Anonymous,
Yes, when either therapist or client feel uncomfortable about the erection and it becomes a problem with the massage, then it will often be better to avoid massaging those areas.
There are times though where it's a necessary part of treatment, depending on the conditions of the client.
It sounds like you receive a regular 'maintenance' massage and as you're both comfortable about the situation and reactions it's great. It helps your overall wellness.
Just one more question Pia
IF a female went to a male therapist would she take her undwear off and would he massage her tummy groin and buttocks. Then what about her breasts are they a sexual part of the body and not done?
Ideally, there should be no difference between massages of women and men, and by massages from women and men. Unfortunately, reality isn't always like that.
You can massage the muscles lying underneath the breasts without massaging the breast itself. It requires trust between therapist and client of course, and there might be a few technical limitations that you won't find with men to the same degree. But in essence, the muscle can be massaged equally between the genders.
When I receive massages from male therapists, I go completely nude and receive massage also on the buttocks and stomach. Groin and chest requires a bit more technical knowledge and usually doesn't happen when I just go for a relaxation massage.
So, in an ideal world (which we of course know doesn't exist), a woman would be just as nude with a male therapist as with a female, and the same areas be massaged as the male would. As there are many stigmas in our societies especially when it comes to touch and sexuality, reality is not that often ideal.
C'est la vie, as they say here in France.
I hope that helps.
Cheers
Thank you Pia for your coments
I had a massage this afternoon and I told my therapist about this blog and she is going to take a look. I asked her if she ever had a massage from a male therapist and she said she did and she said she took every thing off but when she first started going to him he put a towel over her private area but over the last mounth or so he as not used it. She said he did not do her groin but he did do her tummy and under her breasts
Here in the usa the rules are generally set by the American Massage Association. They are so strict that no exposure of any kind is allowed. You have to be covered and you can't even work around the genitals. Of course that rule cannot be followed in Medical Massage. I have been with the same therapist for 8 years and I now am not covered. She performs energy work and that does open up a males chakra.
Actually most men who do ejaculate during massage therapy do so when on their stomache. It has happened to me a few times. I have been getting massage for medical reasons for almost 20 years. Doesn't happen often but it does happen. If a client has a problem like this you could consider a condom to avoid the mess if both are comfortable with it.
If I were a massage therapist I would recommend being a little careful with an attractive woman being completely uncovered because men tend to be more affected seeing a naked woman than women have seeing a naked man. It is natural to feel these kinds of things. I guess it all amounts to a person's maturity. Most of the male's reproductive organs are external. It is hard not seeing something that is so visible.
This blog is really interesting. I have regular Lomi Lomi massages witha lady who is comfortable with me undraped. I feel I can relax more and benefit 100% from a superb massage which I wouldn't get if I had coverings or were worried about something being exposed. She sees me naked as I undress and get on the table so what is the difference. By being completely uncovered she can work from one end to the other in one flow. I am not ashamed of my body and am sure she is not staring at my penis or buttocks. She is absolutely professional and I feel confident and comfortable at all times. I have never had an erection, even when she massages thighs, buttocks and lower abdomen. I think this is because my body feels it would be inappropriate - I would admit that after the release of all that stress and tension and that sinking into absolute relaxation; on the way home I do start to feel aroused and often masturbate when I get home - not thinking about the massage but just because I feel so good - and I am 56.
Dear all,
Thank you so much for all your comments. It's wonderful to hear your thoughts and experiences and I greatly appreciate it.
In the US there are laws regarding draping, laws originally made to distinguish massage therapy from sex-work. As a result, both therapists and clients are now too aware and focused on the draping and the accidental exposure of private parts and suspicion of sexual innuendos arise. So in many cases, when an American massage therapist agrees to undraped massage, he or she risks her license to practice massage therapy. This is another big reason why trust is so important. Perhaps with the right lobbying, the law-makers can be convinced that draping is no longer necessary to separate sex-work from massage therapy.
In regards to an attractive client, once a therapist is experienced enough, our view of the body changes completely. While I can enjoy massaging an attractive person for the beauty of it, the sexual aspect has completely disappeared. Compared it to how nudists no longer find nudity arousing, whereas others less used to nudity will find it so. While a male massage therapist might find a female client attractive, experience and exposure should have removed most sexual association with the situation and it might just become a passing thought. In which there's nothing wrong. The intent of the massage is the most important.
Relaxation often allow us to feel our body more keenly, including our desires and arousals. Men are aroused and have sexual thoughts many times a day, and so do women. But in most cases we're too occupied by other things to even pay attention to the signals our body send us. After deeply relaxing bodywork, we're brought into tune with our body and are aware of it's signals significantly. This is why many will notice an arousal afterwards, because we're actually listening to what our body tells us.
Re the use of condoms during a massage. I personally wouldn't think it a good idea as it places focus on the erection and possible ejaculation. If most cases of ejaculation happens while the client is lying on his stomach, asking for a towel to cover the wet spot ought to be enough. The sheets are washed between each massage as it is, so it's not much of an inconvenience.
All the best,
Pia
Hi Pia
I am in England and I to have Lomi undraped. I agree that it aids the flow of the massage. I am confident in my body (older, also, so not too pretty) and in the professionalism of my therapists both male and female. I think the Americans have a long term hang-up about the human body which is why they strip prisoners naked. A full body Lomi massage is NOT a sexual act but takes one to the very deepest relaxation and contentment where you can feel and communicate with every part of your body. Erection sometimes occurs to varying degrees, especially with thigh, stomach and buttock massage, my therapists say it is no problem but gets in the way sometimes (though it doesn't last long) - it is not sexual but a normal response to deep relaxation and touch: it is far less 'obvious' undraped than with a flimsy draping which exagerates the erection.
It is great to read your comments, Pia, from someone who obviously understands not only the benefit and effects of a proper massage but also the natural physiological reactions of the body which are normal and not indecent or obscene. To me, my therapists are just like doctors, I put my body in their hands; they treat it with care and respect and I feel no need to be embarrassed or ashamed of my body in their presence. Respect and dignity does not need to have umpteen towels draped around it.
Dear Anonymous,
Thank you for your comments and thoughts. It's wonderful to hear how others realize and experience how much better massage can become when they're undraped. I agree that with Lomi-Lomi, nudity is a must. It's a style which aims at unifying the body, have a flow that's like the waves of the ocean and as water can be, can be very sensual without even a hint of sexuality in it.
I hope that with time, everybody will feel and think the way as you do when it comes to massage and bodywork. It's beautiful.
Cheers
Pia
I am English and have been reading all the comments about nudity and erections during massage. I am approaching middle age and when I was at school we all changed and showered together and thought nothing of it. Whilst, I think, in England we are very prudish in comparison to our European neighbours we are nothing like the Americans. I could not invisage having a proper massage draped up with piles of towels or with half my clothes on. A massage is a massage and you need to be naked and free (and relaxed). I would suggest that if someone has a problem with their body they avoid such activities.
People with obsessions about erections are the people most likely to get them and I agree with the person who says that massage therapists are like doctors you 'surrender your body to them'.
I always have naked undraped massage and have never felt uncomfortable. If the therapist is not happy with it then I would go elsewhere because it is the 'customer' who must be happy. All my therapists, in England, have, as a previous poster stated, treated me with respect and dignity. Being naked on a massage table does not remove your dignity - any loss of dignity is purely psychological.
I have male and female therapists and just consider them therapists; I have nothing they have not seen before, and I don't believe they are interested in 'looking'; it seems to me that they do their job mainly by touch.
Oh the poor people who have never had a Lomi Lomi naked and undraped with the sweeping flow of the hands and oil over the whole body; sinking into a deep relaxed state, shoulders relaxed, stomach relaxed; mind drifting into that area of no thought. It is difficult to tell how many hands there are or where they are. Apparently, during my last massage I was snoring loudly - that is the level of confidence and trust I have in my therapists.
Dear Anonymous,
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences from England. It's great to hear about things from people all over the world. I'm happy for you that you've had so many great experiences with massage and are completely comfortable with your own body and receiving touch. It's great!
I would like to defend the US a bit and say that you don't get a massage with "piles of towels or half my clothes on". The norm is one big towel that's folded to expose the relevant body-part which is being massaged, or two towels, one for chest area and one for groin. Wearing of clothes would usually only be knickers.
While falling asleep is a huge sign of trust and very touching, it's not always the best thing that can happen. By being aware of each touch and gesture, you achieve a better sense of your body and can give feedback if there are areas which are sore. A great meditative experience can be to solely focus on where you're being massaged and truly sense and feel how your body reacts and how the muscle relaxes and normalizes.
Other times, a massage can be like catching a nap. Of total relaxation and comfort, where drifting off serves to help you relax even more. It really depends on what you wish to achieve with the massage, and what the intent is.
Cheers!
Hi Pai
I emailed you two days ago thank you for your reply. I told you about when I go for a massage well I thought you could be interested my wife all so as a massage every 4 or 5 weeks. In one of your articles you said that Lady's all so get turned on well my wife says she takes all her clothing off for her massage and her therapist puts a small towel just over her genitalia but do;s the back with out any towel. When he massages he front he massages her inside leg and his hand go,s under the towel and dose not stop until it touches her private area she is waxed down there so he would not know until his hand touched her there he all so massages her abdomen and groin she says it all ways feels very pleasant and it makes her juice's run. He all so massages most of her breast just leaving out her nipples. It turns her on but she says she do;s not think of it as a sexual massage
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