My massage stones

As I wrote last week in "The good, the bad and the ugly hot stone", it's important to choose the right stones for your hot stone massages. Therefore I think it's only appropriate that I show you the rocks and stones I use in my LaStone therapy, as well as my Creative Stone massages.

Please allow me to introduce my massage stones to you.

Image by Taunaki via Flickr

These are my twelve massage stones. I use them for general and overall massage of the entire body. They're smooth to the touch and keep their temperature for a nice long while. The tingsha have a diameter of 7 centimetres to give you a comparison.

There are six pairs ranging from large to medium in size (compared to my hand at least). Once you're used to the stones, it's easy to pick and feel which stone pairs with which stone. It's like they just fit together as a team and work in unison.

The larger stones I typically use on the legs and the back, while the two smaller pairs are used for the arms and hands. The more pointy the stones are, the more in depth and detailed work I can do.

I use my massage stones the most, along with my worker stones.

Image by Taunaki via Flickr

The worker stones are generally pointy so they can work deeply into the tissue. They can have odd shapes and you quickly find out which stone is best for what type of work. For instance, the long inward curved stones are great for shoulder work, where the more round ones are good for details on feet for instance.

There are small humps and points on the worker stones that allows for one stone to do several different types of work. Stretching, pressure, precise massage and so on.

It is important that they are comfortable in your hand and you can get a good grip around them.

Image by Taunaki via Flickr

The spinal layout stones are much more specific and great care has been taken to find the right stones for the right positions.

The layout on the photo is not how the spinal layout is.

When starting an Original Body LaStone treatment, the client lies face up and a bed of hot stones is arranged for them to lie on.

All the stones are paired, but otherwise different. Some round and lumpy, some oblong and flat and so on. Each stone has a precise position in the Spinal Layout, and it'll feel uncomfortable for the client to lie on a layout that's wrongly made.

In spite of how it sounds, it's surprisingly comfortable to lie on the hot stones. And also when a couple of cold stones are added for balance and treatment.

Image by Taunaki via Flickr

Special stones are used for face massage. The two largest stones in this picture are the face stones. They're very smooth and soft so they feel like baby skin. They're a pleasure to feel upon your face and are a special experience.

The eight smaller stones, again paired two and two, are used between the toes of the client. The smallest stones go between the smallest toes and the largest stones between the biggest toes.

Those flat warm stones between your toes feel very grounding and comfortable. They're placed after the feet have been massaged and represent a nice way to keep them warm while the rest of the body receives treatment and attention.

I also tend to use them during my Cocoonings, once the feet have been massaged. They sit between the toes while I smudge the client or massage hands or head.

Image by Taunaki via Flickr

Grandmother and grandfather are the largest stones in my collection. He weighs 1,41 kilo, while she weighs 680 grams.

He is a wonderful, heavy black stone that really helps with grounding. The time he keeps his heat is incredible. I've with great success also used the grandfather stone to massage the stomach. That extra layer between the client and my hands is a reassurance which allows the recipient to relax and receive the massage with a more open heart.

She is beautiful with her deep red colour and is a wonderful stone to lie on when your back is being massaged. You adjust it under your stomach to the most comfortable position and soon you'll only notice a deeply relaxing warmth and not at all that you're lying on a stone. I have people who when they turn around have completely forgotten about the grandmother stone.

The small greenish stone is the third-eye stone which is placed upon the brow during an Original Body massage. Often it's replaced with a crystal, depending on the client.

Image by Taunaki via Flickr

The Heart stone, made of sardonyx, is placed on the heart. I find it so beautiful and vibrant that I have a hard time giving a massage without it.

The four chakra stones are used during the Original Body treatment. They're placed along with the Grandfather stone, on the front of the body and the chakra points there.

They have a nice heavy weight and keep their heat for a long time. They're also wonderful stones to use during the Cocoonings.

Image by Taunaki via Flickr

The top stones are inguinal stones which are used in the chakra placement as well.

The middle pair are the hand-stones which the client holds during the Original Body and Cocooning. They are warm and safe, and it almost feels like you're holding someone in their hand. When you hold them, you're never alone even if the therapist walks away from you to get more stones from the heater.

The bottom stone is the pillow stone which is used along with the Spinal Layout. It goes just under your nape, lightly pressing against the edge of the skull.

When the weather is warm, it's often replaced by a cold stone to help cool the brain and leave the client feeling refreshed and alert after the massage.

Image by Taunaki via Flickr

Finally, meet the cold stones. These are made out of marble and are kept on ice until they're used.

While cold and ice sounds unpleasant, they bring in the balance in the LaStone. They help cool the body when it has become too warm from the hot stones, they help freshen you up so you're not all sluggish after a treatment, and then they're great therapeutically.

The hot and cold combined works like a pump for the soft tissue. The heat makes veins expand and muscles relax. The cold makes the veins and muscles contact, creating a pumping effect which increases circulation in that area.

Again, the cold stones are paired to work together. The different sizes are used at different places on the body. The big flat squarish stones are for under the shoulder blades for instance, while the oblong ones are often used for hands or stretching the nape. The bigger stones on large muscles.

Now you know my 56 hot stones, my 12 cold stones and my one heart stone. This is a basic set for the LaStone Original Body and Cocooning. I'm certain I over the coming years will collect more stones, both  hot and cold during my travels.

The good, the bad and the ugly hot stone

Image by Caro's Lines via Flickr

Not that any stone is ugly, but there are good and bad stones when it comes to Hot Stone Massage.

It matters what size and shape the stones used for a Hot Stone Massage are and what they're made from. Energy-wise it matters how the stones were harvested and how they've been treated. Once you've held good stones and worked with them, or received a massage by them, you'll begin to feel sorry and pity many of those stones you can find on eBay or see at alternative health fairs.


So what makes a good massage hot stone?

Basalt

The stone is made of basalt as it keeps the heat for a long time. But there are differences between types of basalt, all depending on how the lava the rocks are made from cooled.

Weight
Basically, the longer time it took for the lava to cool, the more dense the stone is and the better it can keep the heat. So the rocks created by lava running into the sea like on Hawaii contains a lot of air pockets inside, which doesn't keep heat well. It's easily felt as the rock is much lighter than the slow-cooling ones. The heavier a basalt stone, the more compact it is.

Colour
The colour is less important than the weight. Some stones have a reddish cast, while others have a green cast. This is merely a sign of what other minerals and metals are found in the stone. Though the darker a heavy stone is, the more likely it is to keep heat well.

Size
The purpose of the stone dictates its size. For overall massage, the stone should be the size of and fit your palm. It should be so large that you easily can cup it without curling  your fingers around the stone. This way the stone becomes an extension of your hand and you can hold it effortlessly.
For the stones that go between the toes you want small flat stones, while for chakra-work and passive stones you want them as large as your hand if not larger. The weight adds its own dimension, and the size allows for the stones to keep their heat longer.


Shape
Good massage stones are flat, but not thin, and have a oval shape.  They essentially have the shape of your palm without any rough edges.
For detailed in depth work, a stone with pointy ends serves best. This way you can work into depth and in detail. The stone should have a size and shape that allows you a good grip and ability to do different types of work. As you become familiar with using the stones, you'll quickly pick specific stones for specific work, but not be limited by them.
For the face a smaller flat and thin stone is useful.
The shape of the big chakra stones is less important, as long as they can rest on the body without rolling off.

In general, flat roundish shapes work the best for the massage stones, with the exception of pointy stones for deep tissue and detailed work.

Texture
Any stone that's used to massage with should be smooth and soft to the touch. Not polished to a sheen where it feels like it's been lacquered, but smooth so there are no rough edges or nicks which can scratch and hurt the recipient. The more sensitive the area massage is, the smoother the stone should be. The stone should feel pleasant and enjoyable to the touch.
For the stones which are used passively, such as chakra-stones, the texture is less important. Again, make sure there are no rough edges or nicks.


Harvesting
The best massage stones have been harvested with respect for nature and the place they've been taken from. Riverbeds and breaches are good places to find massage stones. The best stones have been fully shaped by nature over thousands of years. To take the last rough edges, they're sand-polished. You can easily find your own massage stones this way. Just make sure you respect nature and environment when you harvest them. Be critical, go for the stones that already have the right shape and size and weigh each one in your hand asking if it's the right stone for hot stone massage.

Unfortunately, there are big commercial interests in spas and wellness and as result you have many stone-producers who harvest stones in quarries, where-after they polish these stones in big machines, creating some very random shapes, even cubes. No need to say that these producers have no idea of how the stones will be used or what their purpose is, nor do they think about respecting nature in their production.

Maintenance
Massage stones should be treated properly, just like other tools you use when you massage. Between each client they must be sterilized, as I wrote about in Hygiene in Massage. Ideally, if there's time, the stones should be washed with soap after each massage, removing the oil and grease on the surface. At least, do this by the end of every day, while they're still warm after their last use. If they're not washed, a layer of oil and fat will build upon the surface of the stones, making them feel greasy, sticky and unpleasant to the touch.

The stones should be respected and thanked for their work. The Native Americans consider them living beings, the Stone People, who're here to help us in our journey and help us with our work. It is said that stones which have been mistreated will stop working. Either they won't keep their temperature no matter how long you heat them, or they'll be too hot and burn the clients.

There are many ways you can pay your respect to the stones. Allow them time to recharge in the sun and moon light, place them in patterns that has meaning to you. Play with them and become familiar with them, appreciate them and love them. They're the extension of your hands and a tool of healing. Treat them as you would yourself and your own hands.

Finally
So do yourself a favour and don't buy the first and cheapest set of hot stones you can find on eBay, but take your time to find a stone supplier who treats the stones with respect and provide stones of the right size and shapes. Or even better, go on a field-trip and harvest your own stones. This way you know they suit and fit you. You, your clients and the stones deserve it.

If you want a hot stone massage, take a moment to ask your therapist about his stones, or even better, see them and feel them before you decide upon the massage. Receiving a massage with good stones  instead of cheap stones, is like eating at a good restaurant compared to cheap fast food.

Guilt of enjoying touch

Guilt and shame over enjoying a massage is more common than one would expect. Many feel guilt over relaxing and doing nothing. Others feel guilt over pampering themselves. Some feel guilt over spending the money. And others again feel guilt over enjoying the physical touch and the sensuality of the massage.

Most of these things you can speak about with others. But enjoying touch is a taboo, sexualizing touch is considered a very bad thing. Hence the impossibility for most to speak about it with anyone.

It is completely natural to enjoy a touch. Touch is by nature pleasant and enjoyable. But in our society there's unfortunately often only two types of touch. The violent touch and the erotic touch. We have a tendency to think of any pleasant touch as sexual.

Guilt and shame then arises when something we know logically to be a pleasant non-sexual touch is felt as sexual. A massage of sensitive areas gives an erection and a coincidental brush against the private parts becomes sexually charged. This is also true for women, though much less visible than on men.

It's important to realize that the sexualizing of touch is a social conditioning. It's a result of how we were raised and the society we live in. It's something we've been taught from a young age and as result it's become a habit, part of who and what we are.

Much practice and concentration is needed to fully disassociate pleasant touch from sexual touch. We need to focus on conditioning ourselves to accept enjoyable touch as non-sexual. Once the association between pleasant touch and sexual touch has been broken, arousals during massages will practically disappear.

Some find it necessary to masturbate after receiving a massage as the touch and physical closeness creates an arousal. Allowing for this need to be sated can have the unfortunate side-effect of even more strongly associate massage and touch with sexual pleasure. This will in return intensify the bodily reactions during a massage, which can be embarrassing for both therapist and client.

The answer to the question on how to break this social conditioning is rather simple. You need to keep in mind that there's nothing wrong in enjoying a massage, nor is there anything wrong in arousal during different situations. Arousal happens to us all several times a day in many different situations. So guilt and shame are unfounded. They only serve to make the situation even harder to deal with.

In order to break the conditioning, it's important to disassociate touch and sexual pleasure. So instead of thinking about the nice massage while masturbating, use another fantasy or scenery instead. Or find pleasure with your lover and do not think of the massage which brought the arousal. It is a bit in the same league as the saying "Gather appetite out, eat at home." We receive sexual inspiration from many different sources.

It is important that it's not the massage that's used as inspiration during masturbation, but something completely unrelated. This way you avoid conditioning yourself to even further associate pleasant touch with sexual touch. The intent of receiving the massage should not become sexually charged. The intent of a massage should be to relax and let go, enjoying touch without expecting anything sexual to happen.

Changing conditionings are difficult, habits can be very hard to break. It will take conscious effort to succeed, and for some obtaining help and guidance from a professional might be what will make the real difference. Do keep in mind though, the conditioning is not a sickness or abnormality. It's a natural part of our society and upbringing.

Achieve the best massage for yourself

Upon the suggestion from a reader, I here give my advice on how to gain the most benefits from a massage. This is by no means any final list or true for everybody, but aimed to give you inspiration on how to make -your- next massage experience something even better than normally.

Before the massage, as a physical and mental preparation:

• Bathe or shower so you're clean and not embarrassed about how you might smell. Shave or wax if you're worried about body-hair and how you might look.
• Don't wear heavy make-up or spend hours on your hair. It's likely going to be messed up anyway during the massage session.
• Turn of your phone, redirect calls and make sure you've blocked this time in your calendar. There's nothing worse than a phone ringing while you're in heaven.
• Look forward to the massage, think about it as something great that you deserve.
  
• Before the massage, mentally prepare yourself to receive and enjoy. Deep breathing, a quick meditation, sitting in silence for a couple of minutes will all help achieve this goal.
• Don't drink alcohol or eat just before a massage. If you've been intoxicated, wait at least 24 hours until you have your massage.
  

 During the massage:

• Breathe deeply, focus on your breath and feel how you relax. The therapist will often work with your breath, pressing while you exhale and releasing while you inhale. Stretches also benefit from deep breathing.
• Dismiss unrelated thoughts. Let go of that meeting next week, don't worry about the shopping list, don't think about work, studies or family. Just be in the now and enjoy it. Your brain will be grateful for that break from daily stresses.
• Focus on the massage and use it as a means of meditation. Notice how your body reacts to the touch, where sore points are and how everything eases up and relaxes as the therapist works her magic, or
  
• Focus on the music and allow yourself to drift away in relaxation and pleasure.
• Dismiss all worries about how you look or your body reacts. You're lying there, passive, receiving a massage. There's nothing you can do about those unshaven legs or your bad hair-day. There's nothing you can do about those thick thighs or that erection. Just stop worrying, and be assured that the therapist has seen it all before and doesn't care one tiny bit about it.

After the massage:

• Take time to come back and don't instantly jump into the stress of life and work. Give yourself time to feel your body and your relaxation afterwards. Accept if they offer you a cup of tea or glass of water.
• If the spa/clinic offers it, take a shower, sit in the hamam/steam-room and enjoy their services for a bit longer.
  
• Drink plenty of water then next couple of days. It will help detoxify your system after the massage has kicked things into motion.
• Eat a good healthy meal. You've just treated your body wonderful, keep it up for a while longer. Listen to your instinct, it'll often tell you to eat lightly and lots of greens.
• Don't become intoxicated for a day or two after the massage. The metabolism is working at a higher speed than usually and the harmful effects of alcohol will be greater. That said, there's nothing wrong in enjoying a glass of wine with a meal.
• Laugh and appreciate beautiful things.
  

With some massage types it's beneficial to work out just before or after the massage to help the metabolism and gain greater results from both exercise and massage.

Do you have any ideas and suggestions on how to make a massage experience even better? Please share your thoughts below in the comments.