Massage and Trust

Do you know the intent of your massage therapist? The reason why she or he is a massage therapist and enjoys giving you a massage? Are you certain that every single touch is fully professional? Can you be sure your therapist is evaluating your body for professional reasons only? Do you know the reason for every massage stroke used. Are you sure your therapist is properly trained and won't harm you out of ignorance?

There are many questions arising when you begin to think about trust and massage therapy.

Not only are there the professional questions: Is the therapist properly qualified, does he know what he's doing, is he capable of treating what he claims to treat, is he highly skilled or just trying out new things?

But there's also the entire range of emotional questions: Can you trust the intent of the touch, are you being judged on your body, is there anything sexual going on, does the therapist really want what's best for me? Does he treat you fully, or just partially so you have to come back later? Will he maintain confidentiality? Can you trust his word or does he lie to you?

All these questions begin to show the importance of trusting your massage therapist. And it's not an easy thing to achieve this trust and know if the massage therapist is the right one for you and what you require.

In most cases the professional questions are fairly easy to answer. Therapists are educated from schools and are certified one way or another. The schools and certifications can be checked and verified.  Experience is important for massage therapy as the sensitive touch is developed via exposure to different massage situations. A therapist who has given 200 massages give a rather different massage from one who's done ten thousand massages. The former primarily go more by knowledge from theory, where the latter has true wisdom from theory and personal experiences. Finally, you can check what others say about your massage therapist. Are the clients happy with the massages, do they return repeatedly because it's so good, do they write positive reviews or just standard ones?

The emotional questions are much, much harder to answer, and eventually you'll have to trust your own impression and gut feeling there. Of course, the reputation of the massage therapist goes a long way, just as recommendations from friends and people you already trust.

But in the end, you have to know your massage therapist and understand his intent and motivations in order to be sure he won't laugh at an involuntarily erection, or stare at your breasts thinking you're his next conquest.

Trust also plays a role in how openly you can communicate with your therapist. When you fully trust him or her, you're much more likely to speak up about what's on  your mind in regards to the massage. You're more likely to give feedback that something is unpleasant and hurts, you're more likely to let the therapist know that what's happening is good. And you're much more likely to speak about what you're worried about and what might embarrass you; your looks, your hairy legs, worry about erection or what it might be.

Finally, trusting  your therapist fully allows you to relax and receive the massage with an open mind and heart. This in turn allows the therapist to work deeper into the muscles and give you a better massage because you're receptive and trust his trust completely. You don't worry about if it might hurt too much or if the touch might have a different meaning.


It's also important for the therapist to trust the client. This might sound a bit odd, but as a therapist we need to be able to trust that you will speak up when something hurts and that you will let us know if there's something we need to be aware of and pay attention to. We need to trust that you're not hiding something from us that could make us harm you during the massage.

Especially for women massaging male clients we need to trust that your for with the massage is purely massage and not anything sexual. And if an involuntarily erection happens, that it's by happenstance and not something that you desired or urged forward. We need to trust that you won't turn against us and harm us in any way, be it physically in the massage room or verbally by slander and lies.

Open and honest communication goes a long way to build trust and it clears out what misunderstandings might arise from perfectly normal situations. Talk to your therapist and don't be afraid to voice your concern and raise your questions as soon as they appear. In most cases our minds create demons where there are just small bugs and talking with your therapist will cast light on matters.

If your therapist isn't open to talk, as long as it's related to the massage and what happens during it, then you might consider finding yourself another therapist.

It is very important that you trust your therapist, and it's important that your therapist trust you in return. If you can't trust your therapist, then he's not the right therapist for you.

Guilt of enjoying touch

Guilt and shame over enjoying a massage is more common than one would expect. Many feel guilt over relaxing and doing nothing. Others feel guilt over pampering themselves. Some feel guilt over spending the money. And others again feel guilt over enjoying the physical touch and the sensuality of the massage.

Most of these things you can speak about with others. But enjoying touch is a taboo, sexualizing touch is considered a very bad thing. Hence the impossibility for most to speak about it with anyone.

It is completely natural to enjoy a touch. Touch is by nature pleasant and enjoyable. But in our society there's unfortunately often only two types of touch. The violent touch and the erotic touch. We have a tendency to think of any pleasant touch as sexual.

Guilt and shame then arises when something we know logically to be a pleasant non-sexual touch is felt as sexual. A massage of sensitive areas gives an erection and a coincidental brush against the private parts becomes sexually charged. This is also true for women, though much less visible than on men.

It's important to realize that the sexualizing of touch is a social conditioning. It's a result of how we were raised and the society we live in. It's something we've been taught from a young age and as result it's become a habit, part of who and what we are.

Much practice and concentration is needed to fully disassociate pleasant touch from sexual touch. We need to focus on conditioning ourselves to accept enjoyable touch as non-sexual. Once the association between pleasant touch and sexual touch has been broken, arousals during massages will practically disappear.

Some find it necessary to masturbate after receiving a massage as the touch and physical closeness creates an arousal. Allowing for this need to be sated can have the unfortunate side-effect of even more strongly associate massage and touch with sexual pleasure. This will in return intensify the bodily reactions during a massage, which can be embarrassing for both therapist and client.

The answer to the question on how to break this social conditioning is rather simple. You need to keep in mind that there's nothing wrong in enjoying a massage, nor is there anything wrong in arousal during different situations. Arousal happens to us all several times a day in many different situations. So guilt and shame are unfounded. They only serve to make the situation even harder to deal with.

In order to break the conditioning, it's important to disassociate touch and sexual pleasure. So instead of thinking about the nice massage while masturbating, use another fantasy or scenery instead. Or find pleasure with your lover and do not think of the massage which brought the arousal. It is a bit in the same league as the saying "Gather appetite out, eat at home." We receive sexual inspiration from many different sources.

It is important that it's not the massage that's used as inspiration during masturbation, but something completely unrelated. This way you avoid conditioning yourself to even further associate pleasant touch with sexual touch. The intent of receiving the massage should not become sexually charged. The intent of a massage should be to relax and let go, enjoying touch without expecting anything sexual to happen.

Changing conditionings are difficult, habits can be very hard to break. It will take conscious effort to succeed, and for some obtaining help and guidance from a professional might be what will make the real difference. Do keep in mind though, the conditioning is not a sickness or abnormality. It's a natural part of our society and upbringing.

Achieve the best massage for yourself

Upon the suggestion from a reader, I here give my advice on how to gain the most benefits from a massage. This is by no means any final list or true for everybody, but aimed to give you inspiration on how to make -your- next massage experience something even better than normally.

Before the massage, as a physical and mental preparation:

• Bathe or shower so you're clean and not embarrassed about how you might smell. Shave or wax if you're worried about body-hair and how you might look.
• Don't wear heavy make-up or spend hours on your hair. It's likely going to be messed up anyway during the massage session.
• Turn of your phone, redirect calls and make sure you've blocked this time in your calendar. There's nothing worse than a phone ringing while you're in heaven.
• Look forward to the massage, think about it as something great that you deserve.
  
• Before the massage, mentally prepare yourself to receive and enjoy. Deep breathing, a quick meditation, sitting in silence for a couple of minutes will all help achieve this goal.
• Don't drink alcohol or eat just before a massage. If you've been intoxicated, wait at least 24 hours until you have your massage.
  

 During the massage:

• Breathe deeply, focus on your breath and feel how you relax. The therapist will often work with your breath, pressing while you exhale and releasing while you inhale. Stretches also benefit from deep breathing.
• Dismiss unrelated thoughts. Let go of that meeting next week, don't worry about the shopping list, don't think about work, studies or family. Just be in the now and enjoy it. Your brain will be grateful for that break from daily stresses.
• Focus on the massage and use it as a means of meditation. Notice how your body reacts to the touch, where sore points are and how everything eases up and relaxes as the therapist works her magic, or
  
• Focus on the music and allow yourself to drift away in relaxation and pleasure.
• Dismiss all worries about how you look or your body reacts. You're lying there, passive, receiving a massage. There's nothing you can do about those unshaven legs or your bad hair-day. There's nothing you can do about those thick thighs or that erection. Just stop worrying, and be assured that the therapist has seen it all before and doesn't care one tiny bit about it.

After the massage:

• Take time to come back and don't instantly jump into the stress of life and work. Give yourself time to feel your body and your relaxation afterwards. Accept if they offer you a cup of tea or glass of water.
• If the spa/clinic offers it, take a shower, sit in the hamam/steam-room and enjoy their services for a bit longer.
  
• Drink plenty of water then next couple of days. It will help detoxify your system after the massage has kicked things into motion.
• Eat a good healthy meal. You've just treated your body wonderful, keep it up for a while longer. Listen to your instinct, it'll often tell you to eat lightly and lots of greens.
• Don't become intoxicated for a day or two after the massage. The metabolism is working at a higher speed than usually and the harmful effects of alcohol will be greater. That said, there's nothing wrong in enjoying a glass of wine with a meal.
• Laugh and appreciate beautiful things.
  

With some massage types it's beneficial to work out just before or after the massage to help the metabolism and gain greater results from both exercise and massage.

Do you have any ideas and suggestions on how to make a massage experience even better? Please share your thoughts below in the comments.

Is massage for me?

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Yes. I can answer yes to that question without hesitation. Practically all people can receive a massage. Due to various contraindications, the type and style of massage that suits you the best might vary. But everybody can benefit from and enjoy a massage.

Many people let questions and uncertainties stop them from trying massage. They might have the desire for years or decades, but due to fears or lack of knowledge never get around to it. There are many reasons why to massage get massage, as I've covered in previous articles: 7 good reasons to get massage, Why get massages, Massage and stress, Massage relieves burnt-out, and many more.

In this article I will focus the questions and excuses that often hinders people from getting that first massage.

I'm worried I might get an erection
Erections are a completely normal bodily reaction during a massage, especially in the beginning. The therapists are aware of this and do not get offended. We're taught at the massage schools why those things happen and how to deal with it.

I don't like the thought of being naked
Every massage therapist will respect your privacy and modesty. While you get undressed they will leave the room and you can crawl under the sheet/towel without them seeing you. You can always ask the therapist for more cover if you're uncomfortable. Some massage styles, such as Lomi Lomi are best done with the client nude, so don't  hesitate to ask the therapist about his or her particular massage. In the US it's required to use draping during a massage, and in many other countries it's the norm.

Is my weight a problem?
Severe overweight pose challenges to the therapist when dealing with specific injuries and pains. Some might not be trained to deal with it, or possess the best tools. That said, you can still benefit from other styles of massage, so ask your therapist about your particular case and what you wish to achieve. There are more details in my article Massage and overweight.

I don't like my (insert body-part) being touched/massaged
Tell the therapist and simply request that you're not massage there. Unless there's a medical reason to massage that particular area, any therapist will respect your wishes.

I haven't shaved/waxed my legs
It doesn't matter. We as therapists pay much less attention to how well waxed/shaved your body might be and the amount of body-hair present. There will be no difference in the quality of the massage with shaved or unshaven legs. Excessive amounts of body-hair pose a different challenge, but therapists are trained and has tools which to deal with it. In my article Massage and body hair you can find more information.

I suffer from a skin-condition
Speak to your therapist about your skin-condition and together you can find a massage that suits your particular case. The therapist will appreciate to  be notified so she can prepare the massage.

I want a female/male therapist only
For many the gender of the therapist plays a role and it's completely natural to have preferences. Don't be shy and simply ask your spa/clinic about the therapists and request what you want. Once you're comfortable about massages, I encourage you to try the other gender as well.

What if I fart during the massage?
Don't worry. We're used to it and it happens to every one. Farting is simply a symptom of you relaxing and your system working. The therapist won't comment upon it afterwards, nor look at you oddly.

I'm pregnant
Pregnant women can greatly benefit from massage. Just make sure that your therapist is trained in pregnancy massage as there are certain things to be aware of and take into consideration.

I can't afford it
While money always is a problem and a hindrance for many things, it also comes down to your priorities and choices. An option could be to try a shorter and cheaper session instead of a full body massage. Perhaps try a 20 minutes shoulder and back massage, a 10 minutes chair massage or perhaps a 15 minutes foot massage. It is better to do a shorter treatment at a good massage therapist, than do a full massage by a poor massage therapist. Avoid the discount places and go for quality.

I don't like being passive
Massage can be a rather passive experience and some people become restless. There are massage styles which suit any type of personality, so ask around and study the different forms of massage. Thai-massage and Shiatsu can feel much more active than a Swedish massage and Watsu (shiatsu in water) requires your full engagement. You can also start by a short session and see where your time-limit lies. For many of us it's a challenge to just let go and receive. We're so used to being active and busy all the time and idleness is frowned upon in our society. Sometimes it's really good to challenge ourselves and just do nothing, letting the body and mind find a new balance and allowing us to truly feel ourselves.

I'm allergic
Always notify your massage therapist if you're allergic. There are many products out there that the therapist can use. So by telling what you're allergic to, the therapist can ensure that you're not exposed to anything bad for you.

I'm on medication
Notify your therapist and let him know what you're medicated for and what you're taking. You might get a referral to another therapist or be recommended to wait until you're no longer on medication. If it's long-term medication, there are massage methods and techniques which are safe to give.

I don't like to be touched
Massage is a touch therapy and touch is part of it. That said, there are techniques and methods where the therapist's hands don't touch you or only touch you minimally. Instead tools such as bamboo sticks, stones and tampons do the actual touching and massaging. Styles such as Shiatsu focus more on helping you stretch or works on pressure points which again reduces the amount of touching.

I don't like the music played
This is easy. Simply notify the therapist and ask for some other music. Many therapists will allow you to look through their collection so you can pick what you like. Alternatively you can even bring along some of your own music. The important factor is that you relax and enjoy the session.

What if I need to go to the toilet in the middle of a massage
Speak up, ask the therapist to pause while you visit the bathroom. It's better for you and your relaxation that you go to the toilet than holding it for 45 minutes.

A few general things to mention:
- Don't get a massage if you're influenced by alcohol or drugs (the illegal kind). Wait at least 24 hours so it's entirely out of your system.
- Wait at least an hour after eating a meal so your system has a chance to digest the food. Neither come just before a meal as your hunger might distract you from the massage.
- If you're sick, wait until you're well again. For long term illnesses, certain styles of massage can be very beneficial, but speak to the therapist about your particular case.

This should cover the most common questions asked. If you have any further questions, please post them in the comments below and I will gladly answer them.

Can massage become addictive?

A reader asked the following question:
"Is there something as massage addiction? Can going to for a massage on weekly basis harm your body on the long run ? Does your body get too used to it where you get crams if you don't go for one anymore."

I have never heard about massage addiction or harm come to the body due to too many massages, so I asked the LinkedIn group, Massage Therapists and Bodyworkers, which is one of the biggest online Massage Therapy communities with professionals from all over the world. The experts here have before given me valuable information and shared their experiences.

The conclusion is that massage can not become physically addictive. Nor can a weekly massage harm the body on the long run. You do not build up some addiction to a drug by receiving massages. Even with the release of endorphins and other hormones, they're completely natural for the body and not something you can get addictive to.

That said, there is a risk of a mental and psychological addiction and dependency. Addiction isn't really the right word to use, as it generally refers to a substance you have withdrawals from, such as alcohol or nicotine.

In some cases the relationship between client and therapist can become of same nature as between doctor and patient. Here the client depend on the therapist for their well-being, and can't do things on their own. Dependency in essence means that the client gives up responsibility for themselves and their own well-being and hand it over to the therapist. This is one of the major risks in psychotherapy for instance.

If the therapist isn't aware of these mechanism and stops it before it happens, a weekly massage can become 'addictive' and an unhealthy experience for the client. It is the same issue which faces all health-professionals dealing with patients and most are educated to deal with it.

There's some interesting studies showing that touch and closeness involves some bonding hormones. The same which bonds mother and baby close, as well as make couples stay together after the rush of falling in love is over. It's an interesting thought if the same sort of bonding might happen in a long-term therapist and client relationship and how that might affect people.

I think this bonding (if it happens) serves to build trust between therapist and client and allows for a better massage and relationship. If will in return also cause pain if that relationship is terminated for whatever reason, just like parting from a good friend hurts. If the bonding happens, then it's a good argument to find your therapist and stay with him or her for a long time. I look forward to what studies into the field might reveal and discover. It's deeply fascinating to say the least.

Massaging pectoralis major, importance and benefits

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Not many try to have their chest muscles (pectoralis major) massaged. Especially on women there's the worry about the breasts and a massage becoming too intimate or crossing lines. This is rather unfortunate as it's a very important muscle to have massaged, especially when dealing with shoulder and upper back problems due to desk work.

Pectoralis major a muscle which is attached to the top of the upper arm and spreads all over the chest area. It's also called pecs and on male body-builders can look like a small breast. On women a part of the muscle lies beneath the breast-tissue, which makes massage of it a delicate affair.

As I described in my "Pain from computer and desk" and in "Postural distortion" articles the pectoralis major is a muscle which is often chronically tight. This becomes a reinforcing factor in the pain felt between the shoulder-blades and in the upper back and shoulder area. The tighter pectoralis major is, the more it stretches the muscles on the back, which in turn allows the pectoralis to become even tighter. A vicious circle which can lead to a hunchbacked posture with time.

It brings some instant relief to massage the shoulders and upper back, but if pectoralis major isn't also massaged, it will only make matters worse in the long run. The back muscles relax after the massage, allowing the pecs to become even tighter.

So if the muscles on the back are massaged and relaxed, then it's essential that the same is done on the front. Due to the stigma there is about breasts, many women never have their pectoralis major massaged.

As I described in my "Stretch exercises" article, there are some things you can do yourself to deal with a tight pectoralis. Though it'll not always be enough as stretching does not deal with trigger points nor remove knots.

Next time you go to your massage therapist, ask that your pectoralis major is massaged and know that there's nothing sexual in the work done, even if the breasts are touched and shifted aside. You'll be surprised by how many sore points and tensions the pecs hold.

Massage is energy exchange

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Massage is much more than a client lying passively in her own world and a therapist just pressing on muscles. There's an entire unseen exchange taking place, which both actively take part in. It isn't something that can be measured except by experiencing it. It's an exchange of emotions, of intent, of compassion. It's an exchange of energy, however that is defined.

A massage's intent can completely change how it's received and felt by the recipient. If the therapist has her "heart" in the massage, the result is much more profound and more healing than if the therapist is thinking about paying the rent or the noisy neighbour. Seen from the outside the two massages would look exactly the same, but there's a world's difference in how it feels to both client and therapist.

The therapists aims to connect with the client during a massage in order to listen to the body and the signals it sends. By connecting, and feeling a deep compassion, it is easier to find those tense muscles and sore points. When the therapist is completely in tune with the client, intuition tells us very clearly where to massage, how long and how deep. This gives the best massages on both ends and the most profound results.

It is possible for both therapist and client to pick up the energy of the other. During the closeness of the massage emotions can be handed over. It is just like some of us can walk into a room and sense the mood instantly, and if we're not careful, be affected and pick up that mood. As a massage is much more direct and intimate, this picking up of mood can happen much more easily.

This makes it very important that the therapist goes into a session leaving behind her own negative emotions and with the intent of healing and focus on the client. The therapist also needs to be aware of the possibility of picking up the energies of the receiver and detach herself from those emotions.

For the client all that's needed is to be open-hearted and prepared to receive the healing and energy from the therapist. He should feel safe and trust that the therapist. Responsibility for the energy exchange lies with the therapist who has the experience and education to deal with it, and turn eventual negative energies into something positive.

There are many ways massage therapists deal with this situation. Most have a small cleansing ritual they perform before the session to prepare themselves and gather focus, leaving their own luggage by the door. During the massage there is often a focus on compassion and intent, and some even visualize being a conduit for universal love or energy. Washing hands before and after the massage also serves as a cleansing ritual.

What are your experiences with energy exchange during a massage?
Feel free to share your knowledge below so others can learn and benefit from it.

Massaging children

Massage isn't just limited to adults. Children can benefit greatly from receiving massages, and this is true from infancy and throughout all their lives. It's beneficial for their sense of self and knowing their body, for knowing and learning to express what they like and dislike. It bonds parents and infant in a loving way and touch fulfils a very basic need that we all have.

It doesn't take much to massage a child or infant. Just your hands and perhaps some natural oil without any additives. Any oil you'd eat can be used. I personally prefer safflower, almond or jojoba oil for massage. Do not add any essential oils to the massage oil unless you know aromatherapy. Children have much more delicate systems than adults and what might be good for us can cause them discomfort or harm.

As a rule of thumb, be gentle when you massage an infant. Let it be a soft touch and not a massage as you know it from yourself. As the child grows older and their muscles and bones are developed, deeper massage strokes can be utilized.

Always listen to what the child says. If it hurts or tickles, ease the pressure instantly and make sure you actively communicate with the child about what you're doing. Always heed their feelings and err on the side of caution. Especially with very small children, their bones are not yet fully developed and no stronger than we can break them if we press too hard.

Studies done on school children shows how children benefit from learning to massage each other. They gain greater respect for their classmates and learn to say stop when something is uncomfortable. Some schools in Sweden has implemented massage and bodywork as part of the schedule, and the children thrive.

If you want to learn how to give your child(ren) a good massage, please don't hesitate to attend one of the infant massage classes which can be found practically everywhere. Often the course is a workshop lasting a day or week-end.

It is a pleasure to massage your child, and as they become more independent, they'll begin to demand massages from you. My four year old requests foot massages practically every day when we sit together in the sofa. It's a great way to spend some time together and talk about the day.

Stress and tensions

Image by Pandiyan via Flickr

Stress has a tendency to settle in the muscles, making them tense and eventually painful. For myself, it's especially the jaw-muscles which tense up and can become so tense and sore that it can be hard to yawn. For many mothers I've treated tension is located in shoulders and back. For working people it's often neck and shoulders.

Stress is an emotional response to situations we're faced with, which often manifests itself physically. When muscles tense up, their function is impaired. Other muscles have to take over part of the work and become strained as they're forced to do work they're not meant for. Tense muscles also affects the blood flow in the area, which impairs the effectiveness of the immune system as the white blood cells can't easily go to an infected area. Tension also reduces the lymphatic process which serves to transport waste products away from the affected and neighbouring areas.

It is then no surprise that stress, and the following muscular tensions, can lead to a number of diseases and injuries. I've read statements that as high a number as 95% of all diseases and sicknesses are caused by stress. That is a lot. 95% because of stress.

Stress is also the most widespread ailment in Western society today. Not many people have time to take room for themselves to pause, stop up, relax and just let go of daily life for half an hour every day. We have many things to consider and many demands placed on our shoulders.

With the current worldwide financial crisis and all the uncertainty that brings along, it is a given that stress has increased and it's even more important we focus on reducing stress.

Massage and bodywork is useful on many levels. The physical work of the massage release the tension from the muscles, allowing them to function optimally again. On a mental level massage is highly relaxing and de-stressing as you lie passively for perhaps an hour, being forced to let go of the urge to do things. A massage gives you that break and pause you need to recharge and bring a bit of distance into the picture.

So don't forget to take those breaks and grant yourself massages regularly, even if the money are tight and you're busy. It can be the factor that makes the difference between sailing out of the crisis in good health, and sinking in the storm.

Bewares in Thermal Massage

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Not all people should receive massage. There are contraindications and situations where a massage can be directly harmful. When you use heat and cold in a massage, these multiply and you need to be even more aware of the conditions the client has and how to deal with them.

Temperature extremes stresses the immune system, which is no problem and actually beneficial for those who're healthy and with a normal immune system. It's good for it to get a bit of work to do once in a while to keep it in shape and ready.

But when people have a stressed immune system, applying heat and cold can become too much for it, with the risk of rendering it less effective in dealing with the real challenges. This is why it's generally advised that people who're sick do not get a massage, and especially not thermal therapy. That said, massage and thermal can help in the recovery phase, or with minor issues. This is where the therapist must take these things into consideration and adjust the treatment accordingly.

There are three areas where the therapist can adjust her treatment. The length, the temperatures and the techniques. If a client has a condition, it's always wise to lower the temperature to perhaps 40 degrees Celsius for the hot and room temperature for the cold, shorten the treatment to maybe just half an hour and use light and gentle techniques when massaging.

It is also essential that the client gives constant feedback and instantly informs the therapist if anything feels uncomfortable or painful. If it's too hot or too cold and describe what reactions and feelings that might happen.

Over a period of treatments, the temperature, techniques and length can be adjusted to suit the client's condition and situation. This allows the client to gain the benefits of thermal therapy and massage without putting him at risk.

There are of course situations where a client shouldn't receive a thermal massage under any conditions, unless the therapists is especially trained to deal with it. These includes:

• Thrombosis/embolism
• Contagious skin diseases
• Cancer
• Pregnancy

Conditions where a LaStone massage can be given, but precautions and special attention must be given, including using special techniques and reducing temperature or length:

• Epilepsy
• Diabetes
• Heart conditions
• Bruising
• Sunburn
• Psoriasis
• High blood pressure
• Low blood pressure
• Asthma
  
• Any condition where normal massage is contraindicated

In short, if the immune system is under any form of stress, then that must be taken into account and the treatment be adjusted accordingly, or avoided all together. There are luckily many other treatments and therapies which only apply minimal physical manipulation, such as Reiki, Craniosacral therapy and aromatherapy.

Make sure that your therapist are aware of the contraindications for a thermal massage and who to adjust her treatment according to the condition of the client. It's even more important when using temperature than during a normal massage, so be certain that your therapist is properly qualified and knowledgeable.

Hygiene in massage

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Hygiene is very important when you massage, especially in these times where the threat of the new flu is hanging over us. We as therapists are very aware of the situation and take our precautions.

For a normal massage we do the following:

• Wash our hands before and after a massage.
• Change sheets and towels, so a client will always have fresh clean sheets and towels.
  
• Wash towels and sheets at minimum 60 degrees Celsius, which is the temperature normally recommended to avoid the spreading of sickness.
• Change t-shirt if it's been in contact with the client.
• Wiping massage table/chair with an antibacterial cloth between clients.
• Making sure the environment is clean and tidy, as well as ourselves.

When using tools for a massage, these also needs to be disinfected and cleaned properly between massages to avoid the spreading of especially skin-related diseases. For hot stone massage this is even more important as the hot water can provide for a very good environment for bacteria.

Most bacteria and viruses related to human health thrives at a temperature around 37 degrees Celsius. This is why the body induces fever to raise the temperature to get rid of the enemies. Some can withstand higher temperatures and the official Danish recommendation to wash the clothes of sick people in households, is minimum 60 degrees. For hospitals and the like, the temperature need to be 95, close to boiling, to be certain.

Fortunately, sick people normally don't get massages, so the risk of spreading any disease is small to begin with. There can be undiscovered skin-conditions, not to mention, we all carry a load of bacteria on our skin through our daily interaction with our environment. These bacteria can be transferred onto the stones and when placed in warm water, some will die and some will begin to thrive.

Depending on the temperature of the water, more or less of the bacteria will die. The normal temperature range for a LaStone, around 54 degrees Celsius, is hot enough to kill most bacteria, but not all. This is why it's important to ensure proper hygiene with the stones and the water that heats them. For the cold stones, the cold only serves to put the bacteria to sleep, and once they get into contact with the warm skin, they'll wake up and thrive.

To ensure proper hygiene of the stones used in massage, we do the following:

• Sanitation tablets or other antiseptic products is the water of the heater. This way we ensure that bacteria can't survive in the warm water and be transferred onto the next client.
• Sanitation of the cold stones before they return to the cooler. Ethanol (pure alcohol) is one of the best, but other products with antiseptic properties can be used.
• By the end of the day, all the stones are carefully washed with dish washing soap, including the cooler and heater, and left out to dry out during the night.

If you're in doubt if your therapist has changed the water in the heater or use antiseptic products, do ask to be shown what he does and ask into the routines. There are cases in the past where bad hygiene has closed down spas, without it being the fault of the therapy form, but rather the therapists not being aware of the risks and bewares.

Any well trained massage therapists knows these hygiene rules and follow them, keeping the well-being and health of their clients first in mind. It is part of their training and will be incorporated into their daily routines.

Effects of hot and cold

Physiotherapists and medical professionals have long used both hot and cold for treating injuries and pains. Sports people apply cold packs on muscles after heavy exercise, they use hot packs to reduce tightness and pain in muscles. Hot and cold is a very effective treatment method of muscles and the body.

The effects of heat:

• causes blood vessels to expand, increasing blood supply
• increases circulation, bringing fresh blood to the heated muscles
• helps the body get rid of waste products (increases the lymph function)
• increases the metabolism
• makes muscles and tissue relax as they expand
  

Too much heat isn't good either - and I'm not talking about burning - as it makes the body try to get rid of the excess heat, including taking blood away from the central organs and the brain. This leads to a feeling of being relaxed, woozy and light-headed, just wanting to sleep so the body can recover and find its balance again.

The effects of cold:

• causes blood vessels to contract, sending blood and fluid away from the cooled area
• the body's pain relievers are released, numbing pain
• constricts blood-flow to areas exterior to the cooled area
• stops muscle spasms and relaxes the muscles

Too much cold makes the body send warm rich blood to the area that's cold, eventually taking heat from the internal organs.

Combining the two and alternating between hot and cold creates an even more powerful reaction. The effect is something called vascular gymnastics, a sort of roller-coaster effect between the two different effects. The outcome is greater than the effect.

Massage oils blends

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I use different massage oils depending on who I massage and what extra effects I want added to my massage. Sometimes I mix oils specifically for one client. Most often though, I use one of my standard blends and from session to session pick the one I feel will be the best in the current situation.

As a rule of thumb, only use about 1 drop of essential oil per 10 ml of carrier oil. This is more than enough to gain the benefits from the essential oils and create a pleasant scent. And by using mild concentrations, there's less risk of allergic reactions.

My carrier oil is typically safflower oil, as it's inexpensive and has a good texture which the skin absorbs easily, but not too fast. I find almond oil to be too thick and greasy to use for massage. The best oil, I find, is coconut oil, but has to be refined in order to be liquid at room temperature, making it less attractive. It is a very thin and smooth oil which gives a wonderful experience to the massage.

For normal skin and greasy skin I use coconut or safflower oil. For dry skin safflower mixed with avocado or wheat-germ or almond oil. A times I add some wheat germ oil, e-vitamin oil or avocado oil to nourish the skin. Especially avocado oil is good on very dry skin.

Some of my typical blends could be:

Relaxation and de-stressing for women:

• 1/2 lavender
• 1/2 camomile

This oil is also safe for children and people with sensitive skin, if there's no allergies involved. To make the mix more gentle and compassionate, add a few drops of ylang ylang oil to the mixture.

Relaxation and energy for men:

• 1/3 lavender
• 1/3 rosemary
• 1/3 cedar

Again, the lavender is great for relaxing muscles and mind. Both the cedar and rosemary are refreshing and helps increase the blood-flow and energy. If used on women, the cedar could be replaced by a citrus oil or sandalwood which both 'gentle' the blend.

Romantic and sensual:

• 1/3 rose
• 1/3 ylang ylang
• 1/3 jasmine

This is a very feminine and sensual blend. To make it more masculine, replace one of the oils with patchouli or sandalwood.

Generally when mixing a good massage oil, less is better. 2-3 different essential oils are usually the best. If you look less at the therapeutic aspect and more at the scent, employ some of the techniques from perfume production. Use 3-4 oils oils, of which at least one has a top-note, one a heart-note and one a base-note.

As top note various citrus scents are generally good to use. Lemon, lime, orange, neroli and so on. As heart note lavender, geranium or jasmine. Base notes are normally the woody notes like cedar, patchouli and saldalwood.

Mixing a good scent is a time-honoured science and there are plenty of resources available on the net. A good resource is:http://www.aromaweb.com/essentialoils/default.asp with profiles of essential oils and other useful information about aromatherapy.

Renew yourself

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As a massage therapist, but this is true for all people, it's important to renew yourself and regularly learn new skills. If you don't undertake these challenges, there's a risk of your life growing stale as well as your craft. It's healthy for your mind to expand and grow your expertise. Not only your customers or workplace will benefit, but you will also.

It is also a good break from daily life and treadmill to take time out and devote it to mastering a new skill. You gain new challenges, you get away from habits and routines. Once mastering what you set out to learn, you have the benefit of accomplishment and success.

Learning new skills can be a great way to boost your energy and obtain renewed interest in your profession and work.

Today, as this post is published, I'm sitting in the Eurostar heading to England. I'll attend a 4 days intensive course in LaStone Therapy at LaStone UK in Chelmsford, Essex. The classes take place Thursday to Sunday from 8:45 to 5pm all four days.

The course I'm taking is called LaStone Original Body and teaches the techniques, information and theory needed to give good and therapeutic Hot and Cold Stone Massages. It's the first step in an exciting journey and I greatly look forward to it.

Clothed massage

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It's easy to get the impression that you need to undress in order to receive a massage. This is not true. It's perfectly possible to receive a good and also therapeutic massage even if you're clothed. The massage techniques used are somewhat different, and the experience will be another compared to a normal unclothed massage.

It is essential though that you wear clothes which are loose and comfortable no matter what position you might find yourself in. It's also preferably that there's only one thin layer of material between you and the therapist. Thick layers of cloth makes it hard for the therapist to feel the muscles and tensions and will also absorb part of the pressure, thereby reducing the effect of the massage.

The techniques used for clothed massage is often pressure and stretching. Petrissage (kneading of the muscles) is another technique possible, as well as tampotement (tapping), grasping and vibration. There are other techniques used within various massage styles and schools. Some typical clothed massages would include Chair/Seated Massage, Thai Massage and Shiatsu.

The most important when doing clothed massage, is to make sure the material of the garments doesn't slide across the skin. The only thing which should be moved is the layer of skin over the muscles, which in most cases will reduce the stroke to only a few centimetres in size. It's the deeper layers which are moved, like grabbing a muscle and lifting it up and releasing it again.

Next time you get the chance, try to massage a co-worker or friend on the shoulders and focus on not sliding the clothes across the skin, but only work on the muscle underneath. Once you master this, your clothed massages will have improved greatly, and it's easy to implement techniques and knowledge from normal massage into your routines.

Communication

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When you receive a massage it's important to communicate with the therapist. Let her know if there's something that's not to your liking or you'd like changed. It's very tempting to just let go, float away and not bother saying what you like and don't like. But by not speaking up about it, you do yourself a disfavour and the massage will become a bad experience.

Most therapists can feel with their hands where the sore spots are and the tensions in the muscles are hiding. But what we can't easily tell is how painful it feels for you, or if the pain refers to other places. Especially when working on trigger points, we feel this small knot or nodule, we can feel how hard and big it is, but what we can't tell is if the pain refers to other body parts or if it just feels sore or like a needle stabbing you.

Some people like a deep painful touch, where others tense up from the slightest discomfort. There are people with such control over their pain and muscles, that even if they feel it hurts too much for them, their muscles won't tense up. A muscle tensing up is usually the first sign that a touch is too hard, so that's what we focus on if the client doesn't speak up about the pain.

A massage should never be painful. Sore is fine, short bursts of uncomfortable pain can happen especially when working on trigger points, but overall, a massage must be pleasant and comfortable, relaxing and enjoyable.

There are also days when you might just need a gentle soft touch instead of the deep touch working on all the sore spots. The therapist can't know what you desire if you don't express these things either before the massage or during it. It is also helpful to let us know if you have any pains and sores bothering you, so we can plan to focus on those areas and help you the best way possible.

When you don't speak up about what you expect, how you feel, where it hurts and what feels good, the therapist will follow her intuition and do what she thinks is the best for you. This often will provide a good and satisfactory touch, especially if the therapist knows you well.

In order to give the very best massage to you, lets us know if there are discomforts or specific desires you have so we can adapt our massage to suit your specific needs that day. It's very important communicate and let us know.

Improving your massage

The aim of a massage is to make the recipient relax so the muscles can be normalized and stress leave the body and mind. There are several things that you can do to improve your massage.

Move slowly. Keep in mind that you want the other person to relax completely, so slow smooth non-jerking movements, especially in the beginning, will help them relax and get used to your touch. Sudden movements and jerks will startle and trigger a brief stress in response. It's important that you're always calm and balanced when you massage so no gesture will surprise the one you massage.

The oil must be warm. Make sure the oil is the same temperature as your hands before you apply it. Or for even better relaxation and enjoyment, heat the oil to the temperature of warm bathing water (not too hot or you'll burn yourself). Warmth makes the recipient relax, while cold oil will make them tense up and possibly even freeze.

Oil the entire body at once, preferably in one movement which means oiling the hands and underarms thoroughly before starting. This way the massage becomes flowing and smooth, and you don't have to interrupt what you're doing to apply more oil, as well as you avoid the risk of sudden cold oil pulling the recipient out of a deep relaxation.

Don't interrupt the flow, keep contact all the time. By keeping constant contact, you enable the recipient to know where you are at all times, and thereby you won't startle the one you massage. By always knowing where the hands of the masseur is, it's easier to fully let go and relax. Try to always have at least one hand on the body, even when you shift positions or need to apply more oil.

Be predictable. Predictable doesn't mean boring. Rather, if the one you massage has an idea of what comes next, it's easier for them to relax and receive your touch. This way the body's protection mechanism doesn't have to be in high alert, and no fight or flight response is triggered when you massage. A sudden change that wasn't indicated beforehand, will surprise the recipient and raise stress even if it's only for a very short time. So, for instance when asking them to turn over to the other side, make sure that the first side is finished and the one you massage can sense that you've concluded that part of the body.

Work systematically. This is connected to the above of being predictable. Working systematically is finishing one part/aspect of the body before moving on to the next. A bit like building with LEGO, where you put the massage together in a series of small systematic building blocks. This doesn't mean that you can't massage a body part after you've finished it, but the main work should be done, and the return be more of a connective nature. Again, this allows the recipient to have an idea of what comes next and thereby easier let go and relax.

Connect the body parts. When you go from one area to another, spend a bit of time on connecting the two parts. If you've massaged one leg and want to massage the other, do a brief intersection of massaging lower back for instance and then go to the other leg. Instead of just jumping from one leg to the other. This will bring the body together as a whole, and not just a bunch of LEGOs that are put together.

Only talk if necessary, preferably leave it to the recipient to initiate conversation. For most people it's easiest to relax and let go if they don't have to talk. It's a chance for the mind to drift and sort out all those thoughts which go through our minds all the time. By not talking to the recipient unless necessary, you aid them to relax fully and help them de-stress. Some people have a need to talk while they're being massaged and it's of course all right to accommodate them. A massage can be very releasing and some have the need to speak about their experiences. Here it can be an idea to suggest to them that you'll take the time to talk to them after the massage over a cup of tea, while you can give them your full attention to what they say. Keep in mind too that some people tend to talk to avoid opening up and feeling what's going on inside, as a protective mechanism so they don't have to let go.

Make sure the room is hot enough. This is really simple. If you freeze while you receive a massage, you can't truly relax. Muscles tense and spasm when they are very cold, and when you lie and relax you're more prone to freezing.

Light candles and put on some relaxing music. Anything to create a special and relaxing mood is useful. Music can be a good tool, though some will find it distracting, so listen to the wishes of the recipient. Candles create a warm mood and has a lot of good associations for many people. Keep in mind that the air doesn't get too stiffling from too many candles, and that parafin candles aren't that good for the health. It's better to use soy-candles or bee-wax.

Finish the massage with a hot towel. Often after a massage people need a bit of time to return to relality, or they might just want to lie and enjoy the feeling of relaxation. Placing a towel over the one massaged helps tell them that the massage is finished and helps them stay warm while they lie on the table. To add an extra experience, heat the towel so they remain very nicely warm and are reminded of your hands.

What ideas and suggestions do you have that can improve a massage? Do you employ these tips already or don't you find them necessary? Share your thoughts and opinions and let's together improve our massages.

Massage and waste products

As massage therapists we're taught that massage releases toxins and that we have to recommend our clients to drink plenty of water so those toxins can be washed out. But when you do research, it's hard to find specific studies supporting this notion, if you define toxins as poisons in your body. What you can find though is that massage helps the body release its waste products, which in great abundance can become toxic, or at least harmful to your muscles.

Simplified, our muscles take in nutrition from the blood and release waste products. As we use our muscles these waste products are transported away and eventually exits the body. But if a muscle can't work properly, is tense and stiff, with knots stopping the flow and so on, the transportation of waste products is slowed down. The system doesn't function optimally.

Massage helps normalize the muscles and thereby their natural functions and the functions of the system. So a good massage helps the muscles to remove their waste products.

Circulation is also improved by massage, and this is where water comes into the equation. If we're dehydrated, water is lacking in the body and it influences our bodily liquids. By drinking lots of water we improve the circulation. We all know how drinking a lot of water makes us urinate more. The kidneys have the function of cleansing the liquid in the body and via the urine releases the natural waste products.

There are several reasons to drink water after a massage.
Firstly, you become slightly dehydrated from lying on the table in a hot room and need to refill your tanks.
Secondly, water assists the body to remove waste products and improves circulation.
And Finally, it's nice with a glass of cold fresh water afterwards to wake up and come back to reality on.

Further reading:
http://www.trackshack.com/training/training-talk/massage.shtml

The importance of massage exchanges

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As a massage therapist it can be hard to remember to take care of oneself regularly, especially if you have a busy schedule and focus on the well-being of your clients. It's important though that you take time to get a massage often, for those working full time at least once a week. This just to take care of your body and prevent injuries and fatigue. What we preach to our clients is true for ourselves as well and shouldn't be ignored if we want to last long in this profession and be able to give our clients the best experiences possible.

Ideally though is to do massage exchanges with other therapists. There are several reasons for this.

It builds professional relationships with other therapists and allows you to assess their skills so you can recommend them to your clients should you not be able to see them for an appointment. This in return of course will have your massage partner refer clients to you as well and the end result becomes better for all partners.

You build upon your own professional experience and can share knowledge, techniques and experiences with the massage partner. Together you can work on a technique, introduce new ones or simply fine-tune the ones you already use.

It can at times be hard to get feedback from clients as they don't have the professional background to tell if the way you moved your thumb is the best way technically or if there are minor details you need to correct and change. A fellow massage therapist will provide the best feedback and constructive critique of your massage, as well as being able to show you the better way. We also often build bad habits over time, as we develop our own styles and techniques. Without feedback from a professional massage therapist it's easy to get caught up in something that might not be the best for the clients.

With a colleague you can share your experiences and help each other. One might know a lot about sport injuries and be able to fill in gabs in your knowledge about a specific field. But it's not only technically experiences can be shared. It can also be ideas and advice on how to deal with certain situations you can experience as a massage therapist. The client who doesn't play, an erection during a massage, the client who gets such an intense mental release from the massage that they break down in tears afterwards. All these things can be difficult to handle if you don't have any experience in it. By hearing of others experiencing these things, you find other ways to see a situation and get ideas on how to deal with it next time it might happen.

It doesn't just need to be massage therapists within your own fields you exchange massages with. A lot can be learned from receiving massages from someone doing something entirely different from yourself. It brings in new perspectives and gives ideas that you might use on your own clients. It also allows you to counsel and advice your clients based on first hand experience and not just theory. First hand experiences always become more valid. Or even, expands your knowledge about massage styles into areas you might not even know about.

Finally, massage exchanges can teach you new techniques and massage forms. It can even grow into a situation of you teaching each other about your own special areas and techniques. Not just as inspiration, but as a full skill-set. Here of course you'll need to keep in mind if the other therapist is qualified and allowed to teach. You might consider taking classes and courses to finalize the training and use the massage exchanges as practice and general education.

Giving and getting massages from another massage therapist is a great way to improve your own skills and perfect your techniques, while for a small cost maintain your wellness and counter injuries and exhaustion. A good site for finding a fellow massage therapist to do exchanges with is http://www.massageexchange.com/

Massage tips for you

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We often want to give a friend or a loved one a massage that'll help them deal with a current soreness, or merely make them relax and feel good. Not everybody can take classes in massage, though finding a brief class to teach you basic techniques for a good back rub is advised. Below I've listed some tips and tricks to give a good back rub, which you hopefully will find useful.

Tips to giving a good back rub:

• Don't be afraid to touch, use your entire hand to massage with. When you use the entire hand to touch with it's more relaxing and pleasant, it shows you have confidence and enjoy giving touch. A light touch, or partial touch can be tickling. It's good to give a proper touch and have full contact when you start a massage and it can be very relaxing and soothing on its own.
• Be attentive and sensitive, pay attention to the reactions and try to feel all details in the muscles. The more attentive you are, the better a massage you give. A back rub should never hurt and you can instantly feel on the muscles if you press too hard. They will tense up. It requires focus and concentration in the beginning, but becomes second nature with practice.
• When you feel a knot, slowly stroke/press it with a fingertip, thumb, palm or knuckle, 5-10 times until it loosens. Often it doesn't take that much effort to release a tight knot. Never overdo it and if it doesn't release after 5-10 slow strokes, then let it be and return to it at a later time. Over stimulation of knots can cause harm, so try to limit yourself there.
• Make sure the room is warm and comfortable when nude, freezing makes the muscles tense up and isn't relaxing. You want the massage to be a pleasant experience, so also make sure you are comfortable with the temperature. Should the one you massage feel cold, cover them with a big towel or a sheet. When people relax they often tend to feel the cold more.
  
• Use a mat or folded blankets on the floor, the bed is too soft. When you receive a massage on a soft surface, the pressure is going to be adsorbed by what you're lying on instead of going into the muscles.
• Wear loose clothing. It's important when you give a massage that you're comfortable and can easily move around. You should be able to focus on the one you massage and not how you feel.
• Ensure that the massage oil is warmed in your hands before applying it. There's nothing more shocking than cold massage oil when you feel all relaxed. Make sure the oil has the same temperature as the skin of the one you massage to make it a pleasant experience. Also, avoid using too much massage oil. Just use enough that you can glide over the skin without pulling it or hair on it.
• Move slowly. It's always better to massage slowly instead of quickly. Too sudden strokes and pressures can feel painful. A slow stroke is very sedating and relaxing, while a brisk quick stroke is energizing and awakening. Think of the purpose of the massage when you consider the strokes applied.
• Soft music and turn of the phone. Make sure there are no disturbances and the environment is pleasant. Soft slow music can make people relax and float away, while quick rhythmic music will wake people up and energize them. Make music and the speed of the strokes match.
• Work only on muscles and avoid bones or areas with a pulse. It's generally safe to massage muscles as long as you're careful and make sure you don't cause pain. Massing on bones is generally unpleasant and painful and won't serve any purpose in a good back rub situation. Anything with a pulse should be avoided. Veins and arteries can in worst case be damaged, in best case you might make the person faint or an arm tingle.
• Start with long soft strokes, go deeper and end soft again. Long soft strokes are good to make the person relax and prepare him or her for the massage. When the person is relaxed, then you can work in more detail and deeper on the muscles. Don't forget to say good bye to the area you've massaged by ending on a soft slow stroke again. The soft slow strokes should feel like a firm caress, not massaging the muscles, but with full contact to the skin, expressing confidence and enjoyment.

Most important of all, make sure you both enjoy what you are doing and that you trust each other. A massage can be done both fully clothed (without massage oil) and partially undressed. There is no need to remove more clothes than from the areas which will be massaged and keeping a towel or sheet nearby to cover can be useful.

Do you have any tips to giving a good back-rub, or have you any experiences you'd like to share? Leave a comment below.

Rubbing It In – Massage as a lifestyle choice

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Jennifer Diamant Foulon is a personal devellopment consultant working in Paris. When I met her at a presentation workshop she hosted, she couldn't stop talking about this wonderful experience she had had. I was inspired to write an article about it, Massage as a Journey, and asked her if she was interested in sharing her story with the world. She was more than happy to, for which I'm very grateful.

We went to Thailand for sun and food and, frankly, because it seemed like the kind of place you go when your inlaws take your kids for 2 full weeks. My husband’s pending 40th birthday seemed like a good enough excuse, and off we went. It was our first vacation in 10 years without the children and we couldn’t wait to wake up without alarms or cries for food, to be un-needed, and for me, to eat 42 times (14 days x 3 meals) in restaurants.

True to form our vacation had an itinerary for flights, hotel reservations and recommended outings. I will now sheepishly admit to carefully “planning” the down time each day so that we wouldn’t be overscheduled. I had heard about massages being available and inexpensive in Thailand and hoped to try it out. Massage had always seemed to be a decadent thing – I remembered having a gentle rub of a massage as a Mother’s Day gift one year. Late afternoon seemed like a good time to go since we had outings each morning before the sun was too strong.

Once we were in Thailand there were indeed massage parlours everywhere. And I was in a highly recommended one by the 3rd day of our trip. I was a bit intimidated by the menu of options – there were stone, herbal, steam, aromatherapy, and Thai massages offered from 1-4 hours. I finally just picked one, a 2-hour Thai massage, smiled for immediately reciprocated reassurance, and was quietly but firmy whisked away while I left my husband a message that I would be awhile.

Now that I think back to that first massage, I remember being very conscious of what I was wearing and whether the time was passing quickly or slowly. I mean, 2 hours? Even on vacation that seemed like a long time. The first 15-20 minutes I was keenly aware of how and where I was being touched as I got used to Ping, my massage therapist, and how often she would love and adjust herself to access all parts of my body. And then as the pressure on my arms, legs, back, neck and facial muscles began, I got it.

I started experiencing what can only be called a release. It started in the muscles themselves, but then very slowly spread to my mind as I gave into the sensations moving through my body. My thoughts slowed a bit, and while I still had fragments of conversations buzzing around my neurons, they seemed to retreat and become quiet. I can even say that I started to sense and feel parts of my body that I hadn’t recently touched or thought about or just that I had never considered. “Here” said Ping, kneading the left side of my neck. “What happened?” I started thinking about what had happened, even searching my memory for the right response. Ping kept kneading, and while it wasn’t painful if was more uncomfortable than I would have usually tolerated. And then it came to me – my cramped-up snooze on the flight several days earlier. She just nodded. 10 more minutes of kneading and it was gone. Completely gone. By the time the 2 hours were over, I felt light. Everywhere. And I cried. Not sobs of regret or sadness, just tears that seemed to want to let go of anything else that was left in me that didn’t need to be there anymore. I didn’t know I needed this. I didn’t know I could feel this relieved.

I had 3 more massages over the next 10 days. Each was was 2 hours – I had decided that 2 must be my lucky number. I tried aromatherapy, where the senses are heightened by the oils that are used both in the room and on your body. The massage therapist didn’t touch me for about the first 15 minutes. The layers of fragrance present in the room were divine, and the temperature was constantly changing. I also tried steam therapy, and had a hot stone massage, and it was all luxurious. I didn’t cry again but began to be able to empty my mind more quickly of “the next thing I had to do”, Outlook reminders of varying upcoming birthdays, last minute Mother’s Day bouquets, and the post-it lists that can be found on our refrigerator. And while I wished I could empty my mind and body without massage, I am delighted to have discovered this kind of therapy, if I can call it that, which treats both the body and the spirit.

Emptying my mind of the unnecessary has also proved inspirational – I am finding that I am more aware of others, and their potential, as the result of this lightness, this sense of simplicity. And I still feel great a full 6 weeks after our return from Thailand. Meeting Pia recently has helped me put these thoughts to words. Massage is such an amazing lifestyle choice.

Jennifer Diamant Foulon is a Paris-based international people development consultant with 15 years of experience assessing, designing and facilitating leadership and management training. In 2007 she started her own company, Performance Acceleration, where she facilitates training events and leadership initiatives for small and large groups, as well as individual coaching assignments.

Massage as a journey

Massage is much more than releasing and relaxing sore muscles. Massage can become a means to full wellness, to be healthy in body and mind. It's important to realize the holistic aspect to massage and how profound it can be emotionally. Massage can be used to release pent up feelings and blockages built over years of modern life with stress and challenges.

Attending a workshop the other day I met a woman who had returned from a vacation in Thailand a month or so ago. She was beaming, radiating. There was a light in her eyes as she told about her vacation. They had been away from children and she had tried out the different massages at the destination, getting one every day. She had tried traditional Thai massage, Swedish massage, four-hands massage and what else they offered at the destination.

The first massages were interesting for her and she felt her muscles relax and the usual sensations most people feel when receiving a massage. But then a revelation happened to her and it became almost a spiritual experience. She suddenly became aware of her body. Fully aware of all the tensions and knots, of the pains and discomfort. And as the massage therapist worked on her, she gained insights into her how her life-style was affecting her body. The massage gave her a physical and emotional release, which gained her a huge understanding of herself.

Even several weeks after the experience, she could feel how the massage had helped her, she still felt floating and alive. The massages she had received allowed her to let go and be fully accepting to the touch. Through the massages she realized where her life wasn't good for her and she decided to change these things. To take more time to relax and listen to herself, to heed the signals of her body and pay attention to the warnings.

This example shows very clearly how profound and life-changing massage can become. That massage is not just fixing a sore shoulder or a way to feel good. Massage can also become a life-altering experience that makes you grow as a person and helps you find a better life.

Massage and touch are very powerful tools if only you open up to the experiences and let go. If you allow the massage to become more than purely physical treatment. By accepting a massage fully and let go, you become clearly aware of your body and the signals it gives you and can not only improve your emotional health, but also your physical health.

Massage can lead you to greater happiness if you're willing to embrace the experience and accept the possibilities.

Related articles: Body awareness, The importance of touch, Misunderstood touch, 7 good reasons to get a massage, massage and communication.

Misunderstood touch

Touch is often seen as something sexual and sensual, an erotic expression between lovers. And as result, we withdraw our touch and become nervous about touching. A touch from a stranger invades our personal space even if it's by accident in the metro. A father caressing and massaging his child is suspected of ulterior motives. Friends hugging becomes more than just friendship, especially when it's two men hugging.

As touch has been so sexualized we start to think that we want sensuality when we crave a touch. This very often leads to misunderstandings and confusion. Men calling to get sensual and erotic massages because they think they need sex, when it's touch they crave. Friends not hugging as they think their need for a touch is sexual and not a normal human thing. Kids not allowed to cuddle their parents as it becomes something more in the minds of adults.

Touch is a fundamental need in humans. We all need touch. It's as essential as relaxation, laughter, love and social contact. Touch helps us become aware of our bodies, of ourselves and our true needs. A touch is reassuring, comforting, supporting, healing and relaxing.

Massage is a wonderful way to sate the need and desire for a non-sexual touch. Often people find that what they thought was a sexual need indeed turns out to be a need to be touched instead, without the sexual and erotic aspect.

It's my hope that the awareness and acceptance of touch will increase and people understand how important touch is for well-being and wellness. And that there is not anything sexual about needing touch and physical closeness. It's my hope that those feeling they need a sexual massage will give it a try to get a non-sexual and non-sensual massage and that they will learn that it can even better fulfill what they crave.

We all need close contact with other people, to be close socially and share more than just words and mental energy. We also need to have physical contact, to feel cared for and appreciated. This is where a massage for relaxation and well-being has its strength. The touch is caressing and compassionate, meant to make you relax and sate your basic needs for human contact and closeness.

Related articles: The importance of touch, Body awareness

Body awareness

It can be difficult to keep awareness of our body and notice how it feels when life is so full of inputs and information we need to digest constantly in order to stay on top of things. How can we expect ourselves to remember to notice how our body feels when the boss is bickering about a deadline, the children are screaming and demanding attention now, when the dog wants to be taken for a walk, when dishes and laundry have piled up to new heights and the life-partner once again complains about traffic and work?

It's so easy to forget how we feel and what our body is trying to tell us. It's so easy to forget that every ache and pain we feel is a warning from our muscles and system that we're doing something that's not good for it. And ache between the shoulder blades is telling us we've been sitting too long in front of the computer again, a knee pain is telling us that we've strained a thigh muscle when we exercised, a headache tries to tell us that we've sat too long in the same position, feeling tired informs us that we have another flue coming.

Our body is one of our best communicators when it comes warning us of coming illness and injury. Unfortunately, it's also what we usually ignore and think, that it can wait until later when the demands of life have lessened. But the demands don't and it becomes a habit to ignore those subtle signals from our body. We don't notice anything wrong before the day when we suddenly can't lift our arm, when it hurts our fingers and wrist to type on the computer, or when we suddenly go down with fever and are forced to stay in bed for three days.

Imagine if you could avoid these things. Imagine if you could avoid injury and illness throughout most of your life. If there was some way to stop it before it comes. It is possible. All it takes is paying close attention to yourself and your body. Of course, this won't stop all illnesses and injuries. Accidents happen and some things just seem to have their own life. But it is very possible to reduce the amount of injuries you get and stop a flue or cold before it fully manifests itself.

Preventing injuries is probably the easiest thing to do of the two and the one I as a massage therapist have solid knowledge about. You must pay attention to the muscles and joints, to your body and how it feels. When an ache starts in the neck for instance, then it's a sign that what you're doing will lead to injury if you continue it. It might take weeks or months yet before it happens, but once it does it'll be much harder to fix than the effort it takes to prevent it from happening in the first place. Not to mention, it's much more pleasant to prevent an injury than it is to fix it.

All muscular pain is a sign that the muscle is being used wrongly or too long and needs a rest and pause. It's a sign that it's become strained. The pain is a signal sent to the body to stop using that muscle and in most cases other muscles will take over the work, a work they're not fit to do and eventually, if you keep up your activity, they too will become strained and you can suddenly end up with the inability to even comb your own hair.

If you notice all the aches and signals your muscles send you, and act upon them, you can prevent most injuries. Only exception will be the sudden accident, but even here paying close attention to what your muscles and body tell you can help with the healing process and speed it up significantly.

What do you do once you notice that aching muscle warning. There are several things that can be done, and which is the best always depend on the individual situation. First is of course to stop doing what's causing the ache or pain. It can be getting up from the computer and stretch the entire body and take a 5 minutes break walking around the office. It can be slowing down and do your activity more carefully or even wait until the next day before resuming. It can be getting a massage to work out the knots and tensions which have built up over time. It can be exercising and strengthening the muscle groups involved so they're better prepared to deal with the sort of task you give them. It can also be changing working position, environment and conditions.

Clearly it's best if you can stay aware of your body and as soon as an ache emerges, counter it by stopping that activity. But it isn't possible to do that when life places its demands upon us and this is where a good massage therapist and regular massage can make a world of difference. If you manage to get a massage as soon as the aches start up again, and at the same time make sure that you work under the best conditions possible, you can prevent injuries like Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, frozen shoulder, chronic headaches and so on.

But how can we increase our body awareness and learn to feel the signals sent. We've gotten so used to ignoring the aches and pains and information given, that most of us are having a hard time fully sensing how our body truly feels.

Again, getting massages can be very useful for this. If you pay close attention to the work done and how it feels. Normally a massage therapist will get around to all parts of the body and when she works on a muscle you should be able to feel if its tense or relaxed, if it hurts when she presses on certain points, if the pain seems to radiate and if there's soreness or sudden sensations. Being aware of the massage given and focusing on the muscles being treated will help your body awareness and if you inform your massage therapist about the aches and pains, she can provide a better treatment and help normalize the muscles.

Another thing you can do is meditate. If you lie down, or even sit up but I find it most easy when I lie down, is to focus on your body one part at a time. Start at your toes and feel you toes, imagine them getting warm and heavy, feel how they relax more and more. Once you're done with the toes begin with the feet and go through your body one small section at a time. You might find it best to do one leg or arm at a time.

If you really focus on how your muscles feel, envision them before you and take your time doing this, you should become aware of where the muscles are tense and where they're relaxed, where there are pains and aches. You'll be amazed over how many muscles are actually tense that you hadn't noticed because some other place was more painful.

This is also a good exercise to help you relax your muscles and counter injuries. Don't be surprised if you fall asleep halfway through the body. The more tired you are, the more likely it is to happen, so keep an alarm nearby to pull you out after half an hour or so in case you do fall asleep and don't want to nap the afternoon away. For the same reason, it's not a good thing to do late in the evening, unless you use it as a method to fall asleep. This meditation is good for that as well.

As with all other skills, growing your body awareness takes practice and conscious effort. The more you practice and pay attention, the sooner you'll hear the warning signals and if you're careful and react to them all, you'll soon find that the aches and pains are pretty much gone and certainly not as severe as they used to be.