Massage and Trust

Do you know the intent of your massage therapist? The reason why she or he is a massage therapist and enjoys giving you a massage? Are you certain that every single touch is fully professional? Can you be sure your therapist is evaluating your body for professional reasons only? Do you know the reason for every massage stroke used. Are you sure your therapist is properly trained and won't harm you out of ignorance?

There are many questions arising when you begin to think about trust and massage therapy.

Not only are there the professional questions: Is the therapist properly qualified, does he know what he's doing, is he capable of treating what he claims to treat, is he highly skilled or just trying out new things?

But there's also the entire range of emotional questions: Can you trust the intent of the touch, are you being judged on your body, is there anything sexual going on, does the therapist really want what's best for me? Does he treat you fully, or just partially so you have to come back later? Will he maintain confidentiality? Can you trust his word or does he lie to you?

All these questions begin to show the importance of trusting your massage therapist. And it's not an easy thing to achieve this trust and know if the massage therapist is the right one for you and what you require.

In most cases the professional questions are fairly easy to answer. Therapists are educated from schools and are certified one way or another. The schools and certifications can be checked and verified.  Experience is important for massage therapy as the sensitive touch is developed via exposure to different massage situations. A therapist who has given 200 massages give a rather different massage from one who's done ten thousand massages. The former primarily go more by knowledge from theory, where the latter has true wisdom from theory and personal experiences. Finally, you can check what others say about your massage therapist. Are the clients happy with the massages, do they return repeatedly because it's so good, do they write positive reviews or just standard ones?

The emotional questions are much, much harder to answer, and eventually you'll have to trust your own impression and gut feeling there. Of course, the reputation of the massage therapist goes a long way, just as recommendations from friends and people you already trust.

But in the end, you have to know your massage therapist and understand his intent and motivations in order to be sure he won't laugh at an involuntarily erection, or stare at your breasts thinking you're his next conquest.

Trust also plays a role in how openly you can communicate with your therapist. When you fully trust him or her, you're much more likely to speak up about what's on  your mind in regards to the massage. You're more likely to give feedback that something is unpleasant and hurts, you're more likely to let the therapist know that what's happening is good. And you're much more likely to speak about what you're worried about and what might embarrass you; your looks, your hairy legs, worry about erection or what it might be.

Finally, trusting  your therapist fully allows you to relax and receive the massage with an open mind and heart. This in turn allows the therapist to work deeper into the muscles and give you a better massage because you're receptive and trust his trust completely. You don't worry about if it might hurt too much or if the touch might have a different meaning.


It's also important for the therapist to trust the client. This might sound a bit odd, but as a therapist we need to be able to trust that you will speak up when something hurts and that you will let us know if there's something we need to be aware of and pay attention to. We need to trust that you're not hiding something from us that could make us harm you during the massage.

Especially for women massaging male clients we need to trust that your for with the massage is purely massage and not anything sexual. And if an involuntarily erection happens, that it's by happenstance and not something that you desired or urged forward. We need to trust that you won't turn against us and harm us in any way, be it physically in the massage room or verbally by slander and lies.

Open and honest communication goes a long way to build trust and it clears out what misunderstandings might arise from perfectly normal situations. Talk to your therapist and don't be afraid to voice your concern and raise your questions as soon as they appear. In most cases our minds create demons where there are just small bugs and talking with your therapist will cast light on matters.

If your therapist isn't open to talk, as long as it's related to the massage and what happens during it, then you might consider finding yourself another therapist.

It is very important that you trust your therapist, and it's important that your therapist trust you in return. If you can't trust your therapist, then he's not the right therapist for you.

Guilt of enjoying touch

Guilt and shame over enjoying a massage is more common than one would expect. Many feel guilt over relaxing and doing nothing. Others feel guilt over pampering themselves. Some feel guilt over spending the money. And others again feel guilt over enjoying the physical touch and the sensuality of the massage.

Most of these things you can speak about with others. But enjoying touch is a taboo, sexualizing touch is considered a very bad thing. Hence the impossibility for most to speak about it with anyone.

It is completely natural to enjoy a touch. Touch is by nature pleasant and enjoyable. But in our society there's unfortunately often only two types of touch. The violent touch and the erotic touch. We have a tendency to think of any pleasant touch as sexual.

Guilt and shame then arises when something we know logically to be a pleasant non-sexual touch is felt as sexual. A massage of sensitive areas gives an erection and a coincidental brush against the private parts becomes sexually charged. This is also true for women, though much less visible than on men.

It's important to realize that the sexualizing of touch is a social conditioning. It's a result of how we were raised and the society we live in. It's something we've been taught from a young age and as result it's become a habit, part of who and what we are.

Much practice and concentration is needed to fully disassociate pleasant touch from sexual touch. We need to focus on conditioning ourselves to accept enjoyable touch as non-sexual. Once the association between pleasant touch and sexual touch has been broken, arousals during massages will practically disappear.

Some find it necessary to masturbate after receiving a massage as the touch and physical closeness creates an arousal. Allowing for this need to be sated can have the unfortunate side-effect of even more strongly associate massage and touch with sexual pleasure. This will in return intensify the bodily reactions during a massage, which can be embarrassing for both therapist and client.

The answer to the question on how to break this social conditioning is rather simple. You need to keep in mind that there's nothing wrong in enjoying a massage, nor is there anything wrong in arousal during different situations. Arousal happens to us all several times a day in many different situations. So guilt and shame are unfounded. They only serve to make the situation even harder to deal with.

In order to break the conditioning, it's important to disassociate touch and sexual pleasure. So instead of thinking about the nice massage while masturbating, use another fantasy or scenery instead. Or find pleasure with your lover and do not think of the massage which brought the arousal. It is a bit in the same league as the saying "Gather appetite out, eat at home." We receive sexual inspiration from many different sources.

It is important that it's not the massage that's used as inspiration during masturbation, but something completely unrelated. This way you avoid conditioning yourself to even further associate pleasant touch with sexual touch. The intent of receiving the massage should not become sexually charged. The intent of a massage should be to relax and let go, enjoying touch without expecting anything sexual to happen.

Changing conditionings are difficult, habits can be very hard to break. It will take conscious effort to succeed, and for some obtaining help and guidance from a professional might be what will make the real difference. Do keep in mind though, the conditioning is not a sickness or abnormality. It's a natural part of our society and upbringing.

Can massage become addictive?

A reader asked the following question:
"Is there something as massage addiction? Can going to for a massage on weekly basis harm your body on the long run ? Does your body get too used to it where you get crams if you don't go for one anymore."

I have never heard about massage addiction or harm come to the body due to too many massages, so I asked the LinkedIn group, Massage Therapists and Bodyworkers, which is one of the biggest online Massage Therapy communities with professionals from all over the world. The experts here have before given me valuable information and shared their experiences.

The conclusion is that massage can not become physically addictive. Nor can a weekly massage harm the body on the long run. You do not build up some addiction to a drug by receiving massages. Even with the release of endorphins and other hormones, they're completely natural for the body and not something you can get addictive to.

That said, there is a risk of a mental and psychological addiction and dependency. Addiction isn't really the right word to use, as it generally refers to a substance you have withdrawals from, such as alcohol or nicotine.

In some cases the relationship between client and therapist can become of same nature as between doctor and patient. Here the client depend on the therapist for their well-being, and can't do things on their own. Dependency in essence means that the client gives up responsibility for themselves and their own well-being and hand it over to the therapist. This is one of the major risks in psychotherapy for instance.

If the therapist isn't aware of these mechanism and stops it before it happens, a weekly massage can become 'addictive' and an unhealthy experience for the client. It is the same issue which faces all health-professionals dealing with patients and most are educated to deal with it.

There's some interesting studies showing that touch and closeness involves some bonding hormones. The same which bonds mother and baby close, as well as make couples stay together after the rush of falling in love is over. It's an interesting thought if the same sort of bonding might happen in a long-term therapist and client relationship and how that might affect people.

I think this bonding (if it happens) serves to build trust between therapist and client and allows for a better massage and relationship. If will in return also cause pain if that relationship is terminated for whatever reason, just like parting from a good friend hurts. If the bonding happens, then it's a good argument to find your therapist and stay with him or her for a long time. I look forward to what studies into the field might reveal and discover. It's deeply fascinating to say the least.

Massage is energy exchange

Image via Wikipedia

Massage is much more than a client lying passively in her own world and a therapist just pressing on muscles. There's an entire unseen exchange taking place, which both actively take part in. It isn't something that can be measured except by experiencing it. It's an exchange of emotions, of intent, of compassion. It's an exchange of energy, however that is defined.

A massage's intent can completely change how it's received and felt by the recipient. If the therapist has her "heart" in the massage, the result is much more profound and more healing than if the therapist is thinking about paying the rent or the noisy neighbour. Seen from the outside the two massages would look exactly the same, but there's a world's difference in how it feels to both client and therapist.

The therapists aims to connect with the client during a massage in order to listen to the body and the signals it sends. By connecting, and feeling a deep compassion, it is easier to find those tense muscles and sore points. When the therapist is completely in tune with the client, intuition tells us very clearly where to massage, how long and how deep. This gives the best massages on both ends and the most profound results.

It is possible for both therapist and client to pick up the energy of the other. During the closeness of the massage emotions can be handed over. It is just like some of us can walk into a room and sense the mood instantly, and if we're not careful, be affected and pick up that mood. As a massage is much more direct and intimate, this picking up of mood can happen much more easily.

This makes it very important that the therapist goes into a session leaving behind her own negative emotions and with the intent of healing and focus on the client. The therapist also needs to be aware of the possibility of picking up the energies of the receiver and detach herself from those emotions.

For the client all that's needed is to be open-hearted and prepared to receive the healing and energy from the therapist. He should feel safe and trust that the therapist. Responsibility for the energy exchange lies with the therapist who has the experience and education to deal with it, and turn eventual negative energies into something positive.

There are many ways massage therapists deal with this situation. Most have a small cleansing ritual they perform before the session to prepare themselves and gather focus, leaving their own luggage by the door. During the massage there is often a focus on compassion and intent, and some even visualize being a conduit for universal love or energy. Washing hands before and after the massage also serves as a cleansing ritual.

What are your experiences with energy exchange during a massage?
Feel free to share your knowledge below so others can learn and benefit from it.

My best experiences as a massage therapist

As a massage therapist I've had some truly moving moments with clients. Pretty much all massage sessions bring something unique and amazing to me. I learn from each session, I gain insights and great enjoyment from letting my hands and stones heal and help the person lying on the massage table.

In spirit of the season, I want to share some of my best massage experiences and give thanks for being allowed to be part of these incredible touching and insightful experiences.

The first was while I still practised massaging for my exam and certification. A young mother was so touched by the release and relaxation that she cried after the massage. The touch and compassion gave her something she strongly needed at that time. To be taken care of, to be looked after, to be loved and treated well. A wonderful break from the stressful life of motherhood, especially with a first baby. It was such a remarkable experience for me to see how powerful my touch can be and to be shown this complete trust by a stranger.

A Cocooning can bring such intense reactions from the client. An elderly woman, widowed years ago and very spiritually aware, received the stones as they were her friends. They helped her release old pains, fears and uncertainties. They brought her into contact with her higher self. That I could be there for her, while she cried out all those old emotions was heart-touching.

Wry-neck can be a tough one to battle, though one massage can help with. A fitness trainer came to me with a stiff neck, unable to turn her head when she entered my door. Hands, oil and heat made the muscle relax and when she left it was with a big smile on her face and her turning her head. Not quite without pain, but mobility had returned. She was very happy because her vacation now would be enjoyable without the intense pain she had gone through.

There are of course many other situations. People opening their eyes after the massage with a huge smile on their face because they feel so good. Soreness and pain gone, stress released, feeling deeply relaxed and nourished. Each massage brings me joy as I see what difference I make for my clients. This is why I enjoy my craft so deeply. That I am able to help people heal, be it physically, emotionally or spiritually.

Thank you for this skill and being allowed to apply it where it's needed.

Communication

Image by BIJI KURIAN via Flickr

When you receive a massage it's important to communicate with the therapist. Let her know if there's something that's not to your liking or you'd like changed. It's very tempting to just let go, float away and not bother saying what you like and don't like. But by not speaking up about it, you do yourself a disfavour and the massage will become a bad experience.

Most therapists can feel with their hands where the sore spots are and the tensions in the muscles are hiding. But what we can't easily tell is how painful it feels for you, or if the pain refers to other places. Especially when working on trigger points, we feel this small knot or nodule, we can feel how hard and big it is, but what we can't tell is if the pain refers to other body parts or if it just feels sore or like a needle stabbing you.

Some people like a deep painful touch, where others tense up from the slightest discomfort. There are people with such control over their pain and muscles, that even if they feel it hurts too much for them, their muscles won't tense up. A muscle tensing up is usually the first sign that a touch is too hard, so that's what we focus on if the client doesn't speak up about the pain.

A massage should never be painful. Sore is fine, short bursts of uncomfortable pain can happen especially when working on trigger points, but overall, a massage must be pleasant and comfortable, relaxing and enjoyable.

There are also days when you might just need a gentle soft touch instead of the deep touch working on all the sore spots. The therapist can't know what you desire if you don't express these things either before the massage or during it. It is also helpful to let us know if you have any pains and sores bothering you, so we can plan to focus on those areas and help you the best way possible.

When you don't speak up about what you expect, how you feel, where it hurts and what feels good, the therapist will follow her intuition and do what she thinks is the best for you. This often will provide a good and satisfactory touch, especially if the therapist knows you well.

In order to give the very best massage to you, lets us know if there are discomforts or specific desires you have so we can adapt our massage to suit your specific needs that day. It's very important communicate and let us know.

Massage and overweight

Overweight is usually not a problem when giving a massage to a client. The massage therapist is trained to take it into consideration and knows how to deal with what issues might arise.

As with body hair the massage therapist will not be judging or evaluating the looks and attractiveness of the client. We are used to all body types and appreciate them all for their uniqueness and the person inside. In fact, most massage therapists will welcome a different challenge and session, allowing them to explore and expand on techniques they might not get a chance to employ that often. The looks of a client is the last of our concerns. We focus on the issues at hand and at giving the client the best possible treatment on all levels. Physically, mentally and spiritually.

Even when the overweight becomes so much that the muscles are hidden, there are techniques to address these challenges. Trigger points can still be reached and stimulated as well as stretches can be used. A good massage therapist is educated in not only using her fingers to massage, but also use palms, forearms and even elbows. These are all methods that will allow the therapist to work in depth in spite of what body fat might be covering the muscles.

There is also the entire relaxation and well-being part of a massage which doesn't depend on the ability to use fingers to work on a muscle. A long smooth massage strokes makes the client relax and let go, which in return relaxes the muscles and helps removing tensions. The massage therapist aids the client in healing himself.

There are many benefits to a massage for an overweight person, both mentally and physically. Massage physically has the same benefits no matter the weight of the client, since the reactions in the body, the relaxation and de-stressing works the same. Psychologically overweight people can benefit from a massage even more than normal weight people. Studies show that massage can help people to accept their body as it is. Being accepted by the massage therapist can become a great victory and a good massage session will be a very positive experience for the client.

The massage therapist must always be sensitive to the client's needs and concerns and take all these things into consideration. It can be by draping, taking extra time to prepare to allow the client to feel at ease, talking to the client, using oils that makes the client feel confident and trusting, be reassuring and always 100% professional, never letting any personal opinion or thought surface. That said, most massage therapists have experience in massaging overweight people and are quite used to it.

A good massage therapist is always open to talk to the client about what concerns he might have and answer any question objectively and professionally. The confidence between therapist and client is sacred. There is no need to worry about what might be said and shared once the session is over.

Do not cheat yourself for a good massage because of worries about your weight or looks.

Further reading:
http://www.integrative-healthcare.org/mt/archives/2006/08/bodywork_for_ob.html

Massage and body hair

Many people are very self-conscious when they first place themselves on a massage table and they are worried about their appearances. Body hair is one of the major concerns I have encountered. It is needless to say that this awareness of themselves and worry how they might be perceived can influence how well they can relax and let go.

The amount of body hair a client has is of no importance. It doesn't affect the quality of the massage, nor how well the massage therapist can work on the muscles. The massage therapist uses a massage oil, which greases the hair so there is no resistance and or chance of tugging of it. A well oiled body will always be smooth to work on. Since a massage is done on the muscles and not the skin, the surface matters less. There are massage techniques which don't require any form of oiling, that can easily be employed should it be needed.

It is worth to keep in mind that massage therapists have a broad experience and have seen everything there is to see in body hair coverage. We do not mind a hairy body and we are not concerned about how the client looks like. A massage therapist is there for the client, to give the best treatment and relax those tense muscles and make you feel good.

There is no need to apologize for unshaven legs, or a bikini line that hasn't been trimmed. We have always seen worse. During our education we massage a wide range of different people, and have seen what there is to see. A well educated massage therapist will never be shocked or disgusted over physical attributes a client might have. You can think of a massage therapist like you think of a doctor or nurse. We are professionals and focus on treating the client, not evaluating how attractive a client might be.

If you have questions or feel uncomfortable, by all means air such to the massage therapist. It is normal to be shy and self-conscious and by talking about it, your concerns can be addressed. Should you have parts of your body you would rather not have treated or exposed, do let the massage therapist know and we will take that into consideration. There is nothing wrong in being shy. It is common and completely natural.

As a final thing, remember that a massage therapist has to respect confidentiality. We will not be sharing any details of your massage session with others. What happens during the session, how you look or what you say is between the therapist and yourself.

The only thing a massage therapist would be affected by is cleanliness. So it is advisable to take a shower prior to the massage session. It doesn't need to be immediately before the session; the same morning will usually be enough. There are of course exceptions to this and some people might be more comfortable taking a shower a few hours before.

Do not let your physical looks stop you from getting a good massage. All people can benefit from massage and enjoy it.

More about massage and nudity

Nudity in massage will always be affected by regional customs, culture and laws. While many massages clearly will benefit from full nudity, it is not always possible to do so. The most important aspect is to find and do what the client feels most comfortable with.

A massage therapist must always adhere to the wishes of the client. If the client is uncomfortable lying naked on the massage table, she can't relax properly and the massage will be less efficient. A person who is worried about her appearances and at unease being naked will automatically tense her muscles and be slightly stressed over the situation. This is of course counter productive to the purpose of getting a massage and as such it is better to cover the client as she requests even if it makes the massage less effective. The comfort of the patient will make up for what might be lost in the massage.

The second most important aspect is what the massage therapist feels comfortable with. If the massage therapist is uncomfortable being around a nude person, she will focus on that aspect instead of concentrating fully on her massage and the connection with the client. At worst, she might even distance herself, detach herself from the treatment and not listen to the clients signals well enough to give the best massage.

It is of utmost importance that the client trusts the massage therapist and can fully let go, and that the massage therapist feels confident and at ease with the situation. Massage therapy is a two way communication where the two partners need to attune to each other. And should this communication fail, the massage will become mechanical and without any depth or full relaxation.

Different cultures have different views on nudity. In Denmark it is not illegal to swim naked at public beaches, in France you can find film-posters with a topless woman carrying a baby, while in the US it's forbidden to even show a nipple on television before midnight. These differences in cultures can not only make the client feel uncomfortable lying nude on the table, but also the make the therapist feel unease by giving the massage.

In some places, for instance France it is common to receive a massage undraped and nude. Especially for those unfamiliar with massages and customs, this can leave the client with confusion as to what sort of massage he or she will be receiving. It then becomes even more important that the massage therapist has a proper appearance and is dressed in a manner that shows seriousness and professionalism.

Finally, there can be local laws and regulations that must be followed. In some places it is set by law that a massage therapist must drape their clients, while in others there are no regulations at all. There will also be various rules and advice on nudity and draping depending on which organization the massage therapist belongs to or which school she has been attending.

Related articles:
Massage and Nudity, Massage and the Sexual Aspect, Massage and Body hair, and Massage and Overweight.

Massage and the sexual aspect

Nudity and intimate touch are in many places considered sexual. As a consequence massage is often associated with sex which poses a large problem for those giving professional non-erotic massages. In some countries regulations and laws have been passed to ensure the separation. Unfortunately there are still many countries where there is no official regulation, and for the costumers it can be hard to see what an advertisement for massage truly covers.

These problems exist for both the client and the massage therapist. As a customer it is hard to see through the jungle of massage types and special offers. They risk at worst to get masseuse who doesn't know what she is doing, and at best get a rather embarrassing experience.

In France there are no official regulations, and anybody can claim they do "massage de relaxation". This in essence means that on the yellow pages both sex-workers and massage therapists are listed under the same category and a client can't tell which he is calling when he wants to book a massage.

This especially proves a problem when they look at the individual massage therapists who work from their homes and offer massages at the workspace or at the client's home. The problem is less when it is spas and hammams, though also here the name of a place can be misleading and cover up for sex-work.

For a massage therapist there is another range of issues. Being listed as giving "massage de relaxation" in the yellow pages brings many unwanted calls from people wanting erotic and sexual massages. It gets even worse should the massage therapist place an add in a local paper, this in spite of it being under the strictly non-sexual section. The phonecalls come in none the less, and at times even late at night.

There are some things that can be done to prevent this. Using a landline phone instead of a cell phone will sort some unwanted calls. Not advertising in local papers, Craiglist and other free forums is another way to avoid unwanted calls.

It does make it hard for a new massage therapist to establish herself. If she wants to avoid the risk of sex calls and clients wanting more than she can offer, she can't advertise in the normal media and has to rely on word-of-mouth to establish her business. This will typically take a couple of years and many gives up before they reach that stage.

Many of those problems are dealt with in countries/states where there are regulations. In the US for instance there are laws prohibiting nudity during a massage and/or insisting on draping. In other countries it's illegal to advertise for massage if you are a sex-worker. Some places have high requirements to become a massage therapist and it is an official recognized education. For instance in Canada you have a state where you need 3000 hours of school to call yourself a massage therapist. In these places massage therapists are registered and must pass tests to get the registration. They also have separate listings in the yellow pages and can't be confused with sex-workers.

In the unregulated areas there are usually non-profit organisations who work towards regulations and official recognition of massage therapy and massage as a non-sexual form of relaxation. Members of these organisations have to live up to certain requirements and adhere to codes of conduct. They are trying to ensure certain standards within the business and provide clients with useful information on what can be expected when they get a massage from a massage therapist.

In France the FFMBE is working towards official regulations and requirements for massage therapists, as described in an earlier article.

Massage and nudity

There are certain moral and ethical values which must always be observed during a massage. The client's level of comfort must be respected at all times, nor must a massage turn sexual in any way. A practitioner is obliged to full discretion and can never reveal any personal information about a client.

I have often been asked the question of nudity during a massage. How much is a client supposed to undress. I always tell them to undress as much as they are comfortable. It is essential that a client can fully relax while laying on the table and not worry about being naked or what a therapist might think about how they look like. For women I insist on the removal of the bra in order to massage the back properly. If they are uncomfortable when they turn, I drape them with a towel.

Different countries and massage types have various laws and regulations in regards to nudity on the massage table. For instance, in the USA it is mandatory to use draping and/or wear underwear during a massage, while in France there is no such law and it is common not to use draping and be completely naked on the table.

Various massage techniques also benefits from various levels of undressing. Thai massage, Shiatsu and others can easily be done while the client is fully dressed, as long as their clothes do not obstruct or hinder movements, or sit too tightly. Massage Créatif, Californian massage and other full body treatments greatly benefits from full nudity since the clothing obstructs the long smooth movements and breaks the massage rhythm. Deep tissue massage, Swedish massage and other massage form which work on particular zones only requires that the area being worked is nude.

Many therapists leave the buttocks covered during a massage, which is in reality a great shame. There are five large muscles in the buttocks which serve to connect the back with the legs. By ignoring these muscles, the back and thighs can't be completely treated as tensions are not only is found in one area, but also in the neighbouring ones. For example, to treat a lower back pain, the muscles at the buttocks will also need treatment since they are connected to the back muscles.

Bottom line is that the client must always feel comfortable and relaxed with the level of nudity, and the therapist must always respect this. A person who is very conscious about themselves and being naked can't relax fully, nor let go and receive the treatment to the maximum effect.

The body can react to the intimacy of a massage without there being anything sexual in it. Therapists are taught that this is a natural reaction and not to pay attention to it, or even let the client know they have noticed anything.

For men it is natural to get an erection while receiving a massage. It is a physical reaction triggered by nerves and physical stimuli to sensitive areas. Women also can get physical reactions, though these are usually much less visible.

The more worried and stressed a client is about physical reactions to a massage, the more likely it is going to happen. It is a little trick our mind plays, and the recommendation is to breathe deeply, focus on breathing, try and ignore the physical reaction and just allow oneself to enjoy the massage. There is nothing sexual at all in getting an erection or another physical reaction to a massage.

The more used to getting a massage one is, the less is the risk of any physical reaction. The client can relax more and the 'tabu' of being touched has been 'broken' and become a natural thing.

A therapist must never touch the genitals or nipples. These are off-limit areas due to the intimacy of such a touch, nor is there any therapeutic benefit to such massage. A woman's breasts are not massaged either. A massage can be a sensual enjoyable experience, but it must never become sexual.

If the genitals happen to be in the way during the massage that area is just not massaged. There are plenty of techniques which can be used instead, and many surrounding areas which can be treated without having to relocate anything.

To sum up. Nudity is normal and non-sexual. Erections do happen and are completely natural. A massage therapist is trained to ignore such reactions. And a massage therapist will never touch any private areas.

Related articles:

More about Massage and Nudity, Massage and the Sexual Aspect.

Massage and communication

Touch is such a basic and fundamental form of communication that we have been born with the understanding of its importance, not to mention with a deep need and desire to be touched. Mothers hold and caress their babies in order to soothe them and form close bonds. We unconsciously rub sore points to ease pain and tension. People in love hold hands and touch each other repeatedly in order to show their affection and share their feelings.

A touch is the most intimate way we as humans can communicate, the most fundamental and the most powerful. Touch is a form of communication that is direct and clear.

Giving a massage to someone is a set of means and methods to build upon this basic understanding and communication. It's a set of tools and rules which form a socially acceptable method to exchange such intense and powerful energies among people who are strangers.

Massage as a form of communication is unique. It is an exchange between the giver (the masseuse) and the receiver (the client) through hands, fingers, arms and the tools that might be used. It is an exchange of energy as well, of love and strength, of sensuality and compassion.

Through the touch the body of the receiver communicates to the giver where it hurts and where the tensions are located. The body tells the masseuse where there is need for a soothing caress or a deep probe and what locations demand special attention and energy. As the massage progresses the receiver and the giver reach a harmony that can almost be Zen in nature.

The giver and receiver join in cooperation, exchanging energy and knowledge, creating a silent communication. This exchange of energy and centring between client and masseuse is among massage therapists called "Beingness".