Achieve the best massage for yourself

Upon the suggestion from a reader, I here give my advice on how to gain the most benefits from a massage. This is by no means any final list or true for everybody, but aimed to give you inspiration on how to make -your- next massage experience something even better than normally.

Before the massage, as a physical and mental preparation:

• Bathe or shower so you're clean and not embarrassed about how you might smell. Shave or wax if you're worried about body-hair and how you might look.
• Don't wear heavy make-up or spend hours on your hair. It's likely going to be messed up anyway during the massage session.
• Turn of your phone, redirect calls and make sure you've blocked this time in your calendar. There's nothing worse than a phone ringing while you're in heaven.
• Look forward to the massage, think about it as something great that you deserve.
  
• Before the massage, mentally prepare yourself to receive and enjoy. Deep breathing, a quick meditation, sitting in silence for a couple of minutes will all help achieve this goal.
• Don't drink alcohol or eat just before a massage. If you've been intoxicated, wait at least 24 hours until you have your massage.
  

 During the massage:

• Breathe deeply, focus on your breath and feel how you relax. The therapist will often work with your breath, pressing while you exhale and releasing while you inhale. Stretches also benefit from deep breathing.
• Dismiss unrelated thoughts. Let go of that meeting next week, don't worry about the shopping list, don't think about work, studies or family. Just be in the now and enjoy it. Your brain will be grateful for that break from daily stresses.
• Focus on the massage and use it as a means of meditation. Notice how your body reacts to the touch, where sore points are and how everything eases up and relaxes as the therapist works her magic, or
  
• Focus on the music and allow yourself to drift away in relaxation and pleasure.
• Dismiss all worries about how you look or your body reacts. You're lying there, passive, receiving a massage. There's nothing you can do about those unshaven legs or your bad hair-day. There's nothing you can do about those thick thighs or that erection. Just stop worrying, and be assured that the therapist has seen it all before and doesn't care one tiny bit about it.

After the massage:

• Take time to come back and don't instantly jump into the stress of life and work. Give yourself time to feel your body and your relaxation afterwards. Accept if they offer you a cup of tea or glass of water.
• If the spa/clinic offers it, take a shower, sit in the hamam/steam-room and enjoy their services for a bit longer.
  
• Drink plenty of water then next couple of days. It will help detoxify your system after the massage has kicked things into motion.
• Eat a good healthy meal. You've just treated your body wonderful, keep it up for a while longer. Listen to your instinct, it'll often tell you to eat lightly and lots of greens.
• Don't become intoxicated for a day or two after the massage. The metabolism is working at a higher speed than usually and the harmful effects of alcohol will be greater. That said, there's nothing wrong in enjoying a glass of wine with a meal.
• Laugh and appreciate beautiful things.
  

With some massage types it's beneficial to work out just before or after the massage to help the metabolism and gain greater results from both exercise and massage.

Do you have any ideas and suggestions on how to make a massage experience even better? Please share your thoughts below in the comments.

Tips: Build mental strength

Image by Getty Images via Daylife

It is some very simple things that can be done to build mental strength and find what's needed to deal with the challenges of life. A good step is to increase your energy as I described last week in Tips: Find new energy. When we feel tired and drained we lack the mental strength to deal with our challenges in an optimal way.

There are some very simple things which can be done to build and increase your mental strength.

• Strength training. When you feel strong and fit physically it'll automatically make you feel stronger mentally. Strength and being fit gives you confidence and self-esteem.
• Meditation and/or yoga. Calming yourself and finding balance will inevitably give you mental strength. When you're calm and posed chaos cease to exist in your mind and you can easier deal with the challenges you're facing.
  
• Time-out. One hour per day, one day per week, at least 4 weeks a year. This time should be shared between relaxing, recreation and socialization. Some things like recreation and socialization can be shared and done at once. It is important to give yourself time to do enjoyable things and give you a break from all worries and stresses.
• Reduce stress and prioritize your life. I've written several articles on the topic of stress which you might find useful.
• Stop worry and negative thinking. Thoughts can drain us for energy in no time, so if you feel drained and down, you need to either distract your negative thinking or replace the negative thoughts with positive affirmations instead. Circumstances can be rough and out of our control, but we are fully in control of how we react to them and make out of the situation.

Lack of mental strength is a subjective perception, often caused by feeling overwhelmed by circumstances, be it stress, worries, tiredness or emotions. By taking the steps above you go a long way to stop the energy drain and increase your mental strength to a level where you can look at your life and see what tears it down.

Keep in mind that it's natural to have highs and lows, it's merely part of life. A couple of days once in a while where you feel weak mentally is nothing to worry about and can simply be your body's way of telling you to relax and take some time to yourself. It will often take a couple of weeks of daily commitment to fully rebuild your mental strength, so don't give up before you've given it an honest try for at least a month. If it continues and the above doesn't help, it can be a sign of depression and something you must consult your GP or therapist about.

Tips: Find new energy

Image via Wikipedia

Many of us, especially during the darkest days of the year, feel tired and fatigued and just can't find energy to do what we want or need to do. Fortunately, it isn't difficult to find more energy. All it takes is some lifestyle changes. Remember, focus on a few steps at a time, perhaps one from each category and slowly add to that. It will not take you long to feel the benefits, perhaps as little as a week.

Make these things habits and you'll avoid most fatigue and constant tiredness, which can lead to depression and mental health problems.

Food and drinks

• Drink plenty of water.
• Avoid fast food and sugars, it's quick empty energy which burns out in no time and leaves us feeling even more tired afterwards - not to mention, hungry again.
• Eat breakfast, even if you don't feel hungry. A solid breakfast with cereals and fibres will give you a good start and be the foundation for the rest of the day.
• Make sure your blood sugar level doesn't become too low - symptoms are often tiredness, grumpiness, lack of focus and patience. Eat a healthy snack or a small healthy meal when you begin to feel your blood sugar level going down.
• Avoid caffeine, especially the combination of caffeine and sugar. They give a quick short boost, but tend to leave you feeling more tired afterwards. Caffeine makes the heart beat faster and eventually tires you more. Don't drink caffeine after dinner as it can make it more difficult to fall asleep.

Mentally

• Take a shower, dress up and look your best. It'll boost your mental energy and give you drive to go out and do things.
• Use music for relaxation or for gaining energy. It's hard to feel down and tired when you listen to quick happy music. Studies show that runners run better and longer when they listen to music. Listening to calming and relaxing music can lower stress and make you relax, giving you an opportunity to recharge in a good way.
• Let go of anger and annoyances. It takes energy and makes your body react as if it's under stress. Also let go of worries you can't change, such as the weather, world crises, catastrophes etc. They only serve to create a negative thought-pattern in your mind which drains you from energy.
• Focus on positive things. The smile a child gave you, the sun on a frosty leaf, the sound of rain on the window, the warm sweater you're wearing. When you begin to appreciate beauty and good things, energy will be drawn to you and you'll feel lighter and more positive.
• Clean and tidy up the old piles and organize your environment. Throw out or give away all that you don't need and don't use. Get rid of broken items or deliver them for repair. It gives energy to accomplish things, so cleaning the apartment will bring in a bunch of positive energy, and you'll no longer waste energy thinking "should do".
• Do a good deed. To help others makes you feel happier, more satisfied, better self-esteem, a feeling of control with your life, good mood and mental well-being.

Sleep

• It's easy to neglect sleep when we're busy. It's a bad idea as our performance and energy levels are dependent on the quantity and quality of sleep we get. If you're busy and spending a lot of energy, make certain you get more sleep, not less.
• Many people are woken or sleep poorly because of a pet or partner. If that's the case, take the steps to change the situation. Let the pet sleep elsewhere, talk to your partner and find solutions so you have uninterrupted sleep.
• Lower the temperature. Heat makes it harder to get a good nights sleep. Instead have a cooler room and use an extra blanket if it feels too cold. It is also more refreshing and energising to wake in a cool room instead of a warm.
• Don't drink in the evening. Even if alcohol makes us feel more tired, it actually makes it harder to sleep properly and in some cases harder to fall asleep.
• Exercise makes our muscles relax better and produces a healthy tiredness by the end of the day which increases the quality of our sleep. Exercise will also increase our overall energy level as we release a lot of tensions and frustrations while exercising. The metabolism is stimulated and our body has an easier time clearing out waste products and bringing fresh oxygen to our muscles and brain.
• Don't use TV or computer just before bedtime. The light from the screens resembles sunlight and tricks our brain to think it's day. Computer and TV also activates our mind which can be stressing and again lead to poorer sleep. Make sure you do something else the last half hour before going to bed.
• Use the 15 minutes rule. If you can't fall asleep in 15 minutes, get up instead of becoming frustrated over your insomnia. Read a book, take a relaxing stroll, meditate and then go back to bed and see if that didn't help.

Sources and inspiration:
http://fpn.dk/liv/krop_valvare/article1907787.ece
http://www.webmd.com/

Tips to a better massage energy

Image by teachingsagittarian via Flickr

As mentioned last week, massage is energy exchange. This makes it important that the therapist is aware of the mechanisms and takes that into consideration both before, during and after a massage.

There are different approaches, many depending on personal beliefs and experiences. The preparations and practices can be very personal and should generally not be shared with the client to avoid potential conflicts of beliefs and religions. I will list suggestions and ideas based on my own practices and what other therapists have shared with me.

Before the massage, preparing the massage room helps the therapist prepare for the massage while creating a healing environment for the client.

• Candles can be lighted, music put on, the temperature adjusted, incense burnt or essential oils put in the vaporizer.
• Preparing the table with sheets and towels, sorting the tools used and mixing a massage oil.
• Ritual purification, smudging, energy cleansing, a prayer etc.
  

Cleansing one self and preparing the massage room is very important to many massage therapists. This is one of the major reasons many prefer their own space, or at least their own room for all massages.

Preparing the therapist:

• Shower, hair, make-up, general appearance.
  
• Changing clothes to the "massage uniform". Changing clothes between massages (or at least the t-shirt) is refreshing and helps to let go of the former massage before receiving the next client.
• Washing of hands while the client undresses and get ready is both hygienic and a way to release negative energies.
• Ritual cleansing, smudging, a chant, prayer etc.
  

Just before entering the massage room with the client in it:

• Deep breathing releasing tensions.
• A quick meditation or prayer
  
• Visualization, eg. leaving behind negative energy, being filled with light, opening op etc.
• A prayer, chant, invoking guides or guarding angels etc
  

These suggestions can become a small ritual that calms the mind and helps the therapist focus on the task at hand. If done properly, the therapist will leave behind all personal worries and problems and be able to focus fully on the client and his needs.

During the massage the therapist can increase her energy. Most often these things are silent and private and the client will have no conscious notion that it's happening:

• Focus on intent. The intent of a massage is to provide healing, relaxation, make the client feel good, get the muscles to relax etc. Keeping this firmly in mind will help this to happen and invoke the energies wanted.
  
• Feel love and compassion for the client and tune in. Try to understand what's going on and how the client feels.
• Visualize being a channel, for pure light, universal energy, love or god's power. Let the energy come from the outside, go through you and your hands into the client. This way you don't drain yourself completely and give yourself (and those emotions not left behind) to the client. The energy given becomes pure and untainted.
• Talk to the client's body. While massaging an area, silently ask for cooperation and explain that you only seek to heal and help it feel better.
• Use prayers, invoke deities, protectors, chants etc as suits the situation and beliefs.

There are of course many other ways to increase the energy and give a better massage. We're all different people and what works for me might not work for another. The most important is the intent. That we all go into a massage with the intention of giving compassion and healing to the client. Giving a massage with the right intent goes a long way to create a wondrous experience for the receiver.

Feel free to share your own experiences in the comments below. Both as a giver and receiver of massages. I look forward to hearing from you and learning from your knowledge.

Wellness - starting small

It doesn't take much to begin to increase your wellness. By starting small you can engage in good habits and one small step at a time improve your wellness to a level where it just takes easy maintenance.

It's important to start small. To focus on only a couple of things at a time so it doesn't become overwhelming and you can keep your motivation up. Taking on too many things at once will only leave you stressed and not allow you to fully engage in the things you're starting. It's well to keep in mind that it can take a couple of months to build new habits and have them so settled they are on auto-pilot.

Image via Wikipedia

We all have individual needs and things we need to change, so it's hard to give a general plan on how to improve your wellness. In the following list, pick out the things which apply to you and start with those. Every month, evaluate your status and once a habit is well established, add another step to your wellness program.

• Focus on healthy food:
• Eat fruit and vegetables every day, minimum 6 a day is the ideal, but start small and begin by eating a piece of fruit after each meal as dessert.
  
• Eat 5-6 small meals a day instead of 2-3 big meals. Getting a snack between the main meals will help you keep your energy constant during the day and make you less prone to snack on unhealthy foods. Good snacks are things like fruit, raw veggies, whole meat bread with a slice of cheese, non-sweet biscuits etc.
  
• Drink water. Make it a habit to drink water instead of juice, soda, coffee, tea and other things. Save the rest for special situations.
• Eat varied. It's never healthy to eat too much of one thing. Make sure you get some of everything. Meat, fish, vegetables, potatoes, rice, bread and so on. For dinner make it one third meat, one third rice/potato/pasta and one third vegetables.
  
• Eat fish every week. Fish is good and healthy.

• Get some exercise:
• Go for a walk. We need an hours exercise every day, but it doesn't need to be the gym. Walking and gardening are great forms of exercise as well.
  
• Getting a personal trainer to help you create a schedule will help you to commit and motivate you to keep it up.
• Play with your children outdoors. Play ball, climb trees, build cages, play hide and seek or catch, anything you can imagine. Kids have amazing energy and they too need to be motivated to exercise more.
• Go to the pool once a week. Swimming is a great way to exercise and allows you to use your entire body. With kids it can become a great family experience and a game instead of boring workout.

• Relaxation:
  
• Go out and get fresh air every day.
• Go to bed earlier so you get enough sleep. Most people need between 7 and 8 hours uninterrupted sleep every night. Many can do with less, but it increases stress and risks your health.
  
• Catch a nap during the day if possible and needed. Powernaps lasting 20 minutes can be a good way to make up for a bad sleep.
  
• Meditation and yoga are good ways to relax.
• Get a massage once a month. Massage is a great way to maintain your health and deal with stress. Don't let the pleasant feeling make you feel guilty and stop you from getting a massage.

• Emotional and mental:
  
• Surround yourself with beautiful things, flowers, music, art and so on. Spend time to appreciate the beauty every day.
• Laugh every day. Laughter is a great stress release and teaching yourself to see the fun in stressing situations will allow you to cope with them much easier.
• Focus on the positive. Positive thinking can change everything. Negative thinking is one of our greatest dangers.
• Be social. Make sure you hang out with friends and family every week. Our social networks influence our wellness a lot, and recent studies even show that our friends are more important to our health than our family.
• Take one step at a time. All tasks can be overcome, all challenges conquered if you take one step at a time and focus on that.
  
• Focus on the now. Much worry and stress can be released if you focus on the now. We can't change the past, and the future might not happen. The only thing we can truly do something about is the now. Keeping that in mind can make life much easier to deal with.
  

There are many more things you can do, and they can be as complicated or simple as you make it. The above is meant to give you some ideas of where you can start, small easy things that doesn't take much effort to focus on. Just pick a couple of things and focus on that. If you have more energy, then pick one thing from each category and do that for a couple of months before considering adding more.

Don't pick several things from one category as it can easily become too overwhelming. By focusing on different areas you make it easier for yourself. For example; eat fruit for dessert every day, go for a half hour walk after dinner and start to appreciate the beautiful things around you. It's three steps, each small and something everybody can manage. Taking three things from the exercise category would quickly wear you out and make the habits very hard to build.

Most importantly of all. Allow yourself to relax and have fun. This shouldn't be a chore or something you have to do grudgingly every single day. Allow yourself a day where you indulge in chocolate and don't exercise. Relax and take things easy. Building and maintaining your wellness shouldn't become another stress factor in your life, but something that's enjoyable to do. Wellness is not just physical health, but also your emotional and mental health. If you're unhappy while eating healthy and exercising, then you're only building your health and not your wellness.

And finally, reward yourself for what you achieve. Rewards can be a good motivator, and it's a good way to relax and let go for a bit before you head back to the task of building your wellness.

Getting a monthly massage can be a very good and motivating reward for keeping a healthy diet and exercising every day.

Related post: A few wellness tricks

A few wellness tricks

It doesn't take that much work to get started on actively caring for and improving your wellness. By starting small and in small steps you can get into the good habits easily without it becoming a big struggle that you need to force yourself to do every day. If you follow through with these few easy things you will experience a great improvement in your overall wellness and how you feel. All the other benefits to your general health and life quality comes in on top of it.

• Eat 6 a day.
  The official recommendation from the Danish health authorities is to eat 6 fruits and/or vegetables every single day. Translated into something which can be measured, it is 600 grams of fruits, greens and vegetables during the course of the day. This includes both fresh, raw and cooked greens.
  And example could be:
  
  • Breakfast: a banana, two slices of wholegrain bread with cheese and a glass of juice - count 2
  • Lunch: a salad with lettuce, cucumber, bean spouts, corn, tuna, salmon and wholegrain bread - count 1.
  • Dinner: Dinner with a side-dish of green beans, broccoli and carrots. If the greens take up a third of the entire meal the count will be about 1.
  • Snacks during morning and afternoon. A piece of fresh fruit - count 2
  The total count for a day would be 6 and you'll have done yourself a great favour. It's important to vary what you eat and not just eat only a few kinds of greens and fruits. Variation is very important to a healthy lifestyle and food.

• Exercise for at least half an hour every day.
  Several authorities now recommend minimum half an hours exercise every single day. It might seem like much, but you should take into consideration that the 10 min brisk walk to the train in the morning counts into that number as well, and so does doing half an hours gardening or physically demanding housework, or even playing with your children. Children should exercise at least an hour every day to keep them in shape and avoid a poor lifestyle and health. The more physical work we can include in our daily schedule, the better our bodies will feel.
  In order for a physical activity to count in as exercise it should be something that makes your heart beat faster, your breathing to be affected or makes you sweat. While an hours relaxed stroll is better than nothing, it does unfortunately not count for an hours exercise. Use your common sense and don't do yourself the disfavour of counting in things you're in doubt about. In this case it's better to do too much than too little.
  Again, variation is the key here. Combine some strength training (washing floors or digging the garden can qualify for that), with conditioning training such as walks or playing ball with the kids. Don't forget to give yourself time to rest between straining exercise. Alternate between the types so your body gets a chance to recover and rebuild. And spoil yourself with one full day a week where you can have your well-deserved rest after good work.
  

• Get enough sleep.
  Sleep is very important for our wellness. Sleep is when the body reconstitutes itself and recovers from the strains of the day. Studies show that lack of sleep leads to a poorer functioning immune system, so the impulses to just sleep all day away when sick are justified. It helps strengthen the immune system and keep diseases at bay.
  Mentally sleep is very important as well. Not only does sleep allow our brain to relax and process the inputs of the day, sorting the information and solving problems. But our mood is greatly affected by how tired we feel. Emotions become intensified and the emotional reactions are much stronger. For better or worse. Also problems seem much greater when we're tired. We don't feel we have the energy to deal with them and they become barriers instead of challenges to face.

• Think positively.
  It is amazing what difference positive thinking can do to your life and how you feel about yourself. It can be a difficult habit to get into, but it is certainly worth it. Shortly put it comes down to accepting the negative thoughts and feelings you have, acknowledging them and then put them away, all the while you force yourself to see the good in any given situation.
  When you focus on the positive in life, in yourself, in your surroundings, you will find that the negative becomes much less important and has much less impact on how you feel or act.
  For further ideas and advice on how to think positively, I recommend you read the Positivity Blog. The site is a huge resource to positive thinking and how to change your own habits and behaviours.

If you manage to undertake those four steps and incorporate them into your daily life, you will quickly see an improvement of your wellness. These are four fundamental steps to wellness and well worth taking.